Wacky Tales From the Northern Peninsula

Just got back from a 10 day trip to northern Michigan with my family. I have some funny stories to tell. Stay tuned.

Pictured are my awesome neices and nephew.

Three Days Of Vocal Training

This past Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I attended a vocal clinic down at the James Cancer Hospital in Columbus. It was an amazing experience. I would encourage anyone to take this class, singers and non-singers alike. I find it amazing how we grow up learning to walk, run, eat, ride a bike, etc., but so many of us are not even conscious of how to use our voices correctly. The course was much different than your typical "voice class" as it involved actual video of the vocal folds/throat and audio analyzations of the voices of our instructors, as well as our own voices. The class of 15 students was diverse... a 60+ year old Opera singer who had been teaching music for 35 years... several 17-18 olds studying music theatre... a group of gospel singers.. a worship leader. There were even a couple non-singers there, one of which just wanted to learn how to project his speaking voice more in noisy restaurants and other overpowering aural situations. I felt like I was on some episode of "Making the Band" where diversity was good for ratings. You can check out this program at www.trainmyvoice.com. It is full of ground breaking concepts, and is spreading across the world as a totally new way of looking at the voice. My good friend Diane Sheets (she sang background vocals on "A Thousand Gods") was one of the teachers. The other teacher actually works at the hospital as a throat specialist.

I may write more on this experience later... above is a very cheesy picture of our class...I felt a little uncomfortable with this pose if you can't tell...

The Show Must Go On

I have been busy the last couple days. Monday, I was setting up / tearing down lights and audio gear for one of the music stages at Columbus’ Red, White, and Boom downtown fireworks celebration, and on Tuesday I was doing the same thing, only at the Park of Roses in Clintonville, OH ... both 16 to 17 hour work days. On wednesday morning, we finished tearing down the lighting trusses we had set up in Clintonville on Tuesday, and that afternoon I was back at the tv station, mixing commercials and enjoying the air conditioning and mesh backed office chairs. It’s definitely been an eventful week, between the tornado warnings on Monday evening and the thunder and lightning storm on Tuesday night.

This Has Been a Test...
I’ve never been a fan of huge crowds, and hanging out all day at Red, White, and Boom was no exception. More than half a million people sandwiched the streets of downtown Columbus, while baking in the afternoon sun and blowing their money on overpriced lemonade, elephant ears, and meatball subs. As early evening approached, the sky darkened, the wind picked up, and we began hearing rumors of tornado sirens spinning up in nearby towns. I shuttered at the thought of a twister ripping through a glass fronted city deluged with concession stands, porta johns, and unsuspecting holiday eyed pedestrians. The “so bad they're free” local bands continued to entertain the middle aged beer toting friends and family bunch while I and the other stagehands watched the sky and discussed our plan of attack in such case that locomotives began sounding in the distance. Thankfully, the twister didn’t steal the show that evening. Instead, the sky cleared and fireworks went off as usual. I wonder if that was a sign of God’s loving intervention. Can you imagine if we were able to see all the calamity we’re spared day in and day out? Wow.

The fireworks were great, but I could have done without the hand and lip happy couples which surrounded me as I tried to enjoy the explosions above. I’ve become pretty good at tuning out such gag-me-with-a-spoon distractions. Anyways. After the grand sky-shaking finale, the crowds quickly cleared only to reveal brick roads littered with pop cans, water bottles, and bottle rocket debris. The blinking yellow brush-bellied street cleaner trucks began to roll in, the concession tents collapsed, and we undertook “striking” (tearing down) our lights, stage, and sound gear. I sometimes contemplate the number of mic cables I’ve wound in my days. I’d be a millionaire if I had a dollar for every foot of XLR spaghetti I’ve untangled. To give you a better picture... our 8-person crew loaded 8 4x5’ speaker cabinets, 2 large audio boards, monitor speakers, lighting trusses, lights on “par bars,” and cases and cases of various cabling... all into the back of a 25 foot truck. After this stuff was cleared from the platform, the actual stage roof was lowered hydraulically and the entire stage folded up into a semi bed. Pretty cool. The complete tear down process took about 3 1/2 hours, and we left the abandoned trash scattered streets of downtown Columbus around 1:30 am. Not a lot of traffic out at that hour.

Let’s Make A Lightning Rod
Saturday morning started early at the Park of Roses in Clintonville. With a Tim Horton’s coffee in hand, I pulled into the rain drenched park, blurry eyed, about 7:30 am. The rest of the team didn’t show up until around 8:00 and by that time, the rain had increased to the point of heavy drizzle. We started by unloading the metal lighting trusses, and after pulling several from the truck, the forboding sky broke loose with unrestrained downpour and highlights of thunder cracks and lightning flashes. We all jumped into the back of the smaller truck and waited it out for a few minutes. Somehow, in the moment, the thought of raising four 25-foot lighting rods wasn’t terribly reassuring. Basically, a huge square of metal trussing was to be slid into the air on 4 25-foot metal “legs.” (using hefty motors and chains). It’s hard to explain in writing... let me just say this isn’t the type of stuff you want to be messing around with in a lightning storm.

After the rain subsided, we hopped out of the truck, and continued our quest to unload the packed-to-the-ceiling trucks (we had two... one 25 footer and then a smaller Enterprise rental). The show had to go on. Imagine rolling 3-foot square boxes of heavy cabling across the mud smeared grass. It was a sight to behold. My leather work gloves had darkened a few shades from the rain, and my Nikes were slowly becoming sponges, and the few hairs I have were soaked. We started unloading more stuff. Again, the rain started to pick up, but we decided to keep working. At one point, our boss showed up with some yellow rain ponchos, donuts, and coffee... a nice gesture which helped to make the whole experience a little more pleasant. Thankfully, later that morning, the rain cleared and most of the afternoon set-up went pretty smoothly.

The first band (an independent rap group) showed up around 4pm. One of their tunes , “I Hope You Like The Junk That We’re Making” was especially touching. They were followed by a middle aged band covering a gamete of classics, spanning from Elvis to Sheryl Crow. The late 40 year old lead guitarist sported a Jimmy Buffet floral shirt, glasses, and the unconvinced antics of an 18 year old rock punk reved up on Red Bull. The last group, “The Street Players” pulled off convincing covers of Doobie brothers and James Brown hits. They were actually rather seasoned and tight as a musical group. However, half way through their set, the thunderstorms and winds resurfaced, and after lowering the tarp cover stage roof so it was only several feet from our heads, we spent the next hour or so holding up the ceiling to keep the rain puddles from collecting on the tarp top above. (Meanwhile, one of the band members was watching a local news station’s doppler radar on his laptop. I still have no idea how he was getting wireless in the middle of a park....maybe through his cell phone service carrier.) All this time, during the downpour, some of the fireworks enthusiasts hid beneath their lowered tents (while they burned candles for extra light), whie some headed for their cars, and others just sat there in the grass on soaked blankets, anxiously waiting for the band to reappear (apparently, you don’t have to be very smart to get into the fireworks).

After an hour of this holding pattern, the park “entertainment committee” decided it would be best to send the band home, and cancel the remainder of the music attractions. After hearing this, “The Street Players” packed up their truck full of PAs, keyboards, drums, and guitars, while we began another episode of cable winding and stage clearing.

By the time the fireworks started to go off, the rain had ceased and the sky has cleared. Six of us on the crew sat by a shelter house in front of a pond and watched the fireworks exploding nearly above our heads. We had a great view, and I think I enjoyed those fireworks more than the ones I saw down at Red, White, and Boom.

After the fireworks, we loaded up all the audio gear, and headed home around midnight. The next morning, we were back at the park at 9am to tear down the remaining tarp roof and truss. During the night, the roof had collected quite a pool of water, and at one point while we were working in the morning, the hundreds of hooks holding the tarp roof to the truss square suddenly began bending and snapping out of the holes in the tarp roof (making a rapid fire pop corn type sound as they disconnected in machine gun succession) and gallons of water spilled on the stage as we jumped back in surprise. Thankfully, all equipment on the stage had been removed the night before.

We finished loading all the truss and gear around noon on Wednesday. I was pretty sore when I woke up this morning.

Lima Beans and The Interest of Others

Have you ever had someone ask you “what you do for work” only to realize that that person really wasn’t listening at all to what you were saying as you answered the question? Maybe that person was distracted by the drop jaw girl that just walked by behind you... or maybe that individual just wanted to “make conversation” without really investing in the conversation. I’m reminded of the “greeting times” at church, where everybody stands up, and in many instances, makes superficial conversation with their pew neighbor, only to sit down and forget what was just discussed. I’m not pointing my finger here, as I’ve been guilty of both above examples.

We all have hot spots or topics that really ignite our conversational participation (or domination, in some cases). I personally love talking about music... and technology which has furthered music production. I have to be honest here... I don’t get all that excited when someone starts barking about the latest NFL scores or the newest sports car muffler upgrade. In fact, I sometimes feel like such situations do nothing more than highlight my ignorance (that’s why it’s better to keep your mouth shut when you don’t know what you’re talking about, or just ask questions... or go read up on the subject, and come back with something good to say...or just smile and nod). Generally, I really have to force myself to listen when such topics are on the table. However, I think and I hope I have become a better listener through the years.

Here's a random, yet applicable illustration. If my friend is hooked on Halo 2 (the video game), it might take some work on my part to share an equivalent enthusiasm for a make believe world of tanks and robots, when I know I could be out interacting with real people instead of blowing things up in a virtual warscape. Regardless, the “real person” in this scenario is a talented video game savvy friend who needs encouragement just like I do. The point is, sharing the interest of another takes work and sacrifice (maybe I’d rather be playing the piano instead of racking up Xbox points). The amazing thing is... just like originally offensive food (see picture), interests can be acquired... and such acquired interests can often form the bridge to the most valuable of all human pursuits, relationships.

Ultimately, we should be striving to love God... and this includes loving the quirky bipeds which make up His creation... that means me loving you... and that means you loving me... and that means us loving the overall bizarre world threads of a quilt called humanity. He loves us each for who we are, and likewise, we should love one another unconditionally... and often, we do this through purposely discovering and appreciating what makes another person “come alive.”

Thought of the day: Naval gazing is a tough habit to break. Too much belly button watching kinks the neck. Selfishness is stubbornness. No body likes a stiff neck.

Philippians 2:3-5
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

Why are Sound Men So Annoying?

Generally, sound technicians are the janitors of the performance world. They mop the musician floors, replace the musician lights, and are often not even acknowledged until a musician stall runs out of toilet paper. I am not saying any of this because I am bitter (as I am a sound technician by trade). I actually enjoy running sound, and in most cases, like the possibilities of serving some truly amazing singers and instrumentalists through the venue of audio. I’ve just observed that audio folk often go unrecognized until there is a problem. How many times has a sound man been blessed with a standing ovation? More often, he will receive a sea of turning scowls after the sound system screams with feedback or starts chattering like a squirrel... and sometimes, the problems happen for uncontrollable reasons. All kinds of things can happen. Maybe it’s the wireless microphone that suddenly, without warning, receives interference from a tv station or nearby cell phone... or maybe it’s the novice professional on stage who decides to point her vocal mic directly at the stage monitor... or maybe it’s the bass guitarist who makes the error of plugging his bass guitar into the “out” plug on his bass amp. Accidents are itching to exist, and sometimes the sound man can do little about the union of stupidity and panic birthing beneath the colored lights of center stage. Nevertheless, there are times when the sound guy misses a cue, or forgets to mute the mixer channel when the guitarist reaches to unplug his 1/4” cable from his Martin acoustic (nothing like a thunderous POP!!! to wake you up on an early sunday morning, right after a heart felt message of rededication). Regardless of who is to blame, most people tend to remember the pops and squeals more easily than the shows & services where everything goes off without a hitch. I suppose the goal of the sound tech should be to go unnoticed. If people start talking about you, it’s probably not a good thing.

In contrast to what I've said above, there have been a number of occasions when I’ve been personally acknowledged and thanked for my work as a sound dude. The other day, I was working the faders at a Jazz & Blues festival in Gahanna (OH) when a couple came up to me at the sound board, and complimented me for the good mix. That sort of stuff means a lot. Next time you are at a concert or at church service, make sure to stop by and thank the funny looking bald yet bearded man sitting behind the mixing board (I’ve noticed a trend in bald sound men with beards).

Mad at the World
I have a theory. I believe many sound technicians and stage hands (roadies) are bitter musicians who didn’t ever make it as performers. Now before all my tech friends get upset... let me say this... many of my technical friends are extremely humble and talented musicians, and deserve to be recognized, signed, and distributed (I say this in all seriousness). I’ve just made this general observation as I’ve worked with a variety of audio folk through the years. In fact, while I was at the Jazz & Blues festival the other day, I met one stage hand who was complaining about how the jazz drummers had dented the drum heads on the provided rental drum kit. He was saying things like, “Those guys are such A-h***s. They don’t care what they destroy as long as it isn’t their equipment. F****** musicians.” I had to laugh. I was thinking, “Seriously man, lighten up. Those guys are probably better drummers than you’ll ever be. Show some respect.” You meet all kinds of people. Guys who bring their own headphones, SPL meters (for measuring sound volume levels), adapter boxes, and volumes of ill quoted technical jargon..all the while struggling to understand why the powerless keyboard isn’t working (hint: turn the power strip on!).

My Share of Slip-ups
I try to approach my sound jobs with some humility, knowing that I am pretty ignorant in many areas, and can always use a new dose of learning. In fact, there have been times when I have literally ducked under the sound board after a terrible mistake, embarrassed by the fact that I just overlooked a strategic detail, so obvious that a monkey would have passed with flying colors. We have all those type of days. At least a monkey wouldn’t hold a grudge against the world.

Scattering Stones and Gathering Them

Some people swear by “New Year’s Resolutions.” I generally don’t make any major commitments on January 1st, but I do have an ongoing list of improvements I’m working towards in my personal and spiritual life. We each walk a delicate rope of “making plans” and “being open to God’s redirecting.” I thought I’d share with you some future goals I have, as well as update you on where I am at in regards to the “music career.”

A Time for Everything
As you probably know by now, the touring thing has taken a back burner (we stopped playing out after our March 7th show at Huntington College). I’ve found that maintaining a band is challenging, especially if you are a solo artist hoping to find musicians who will play your music for next to no pay. I’ve also discovered that it’s hard to do the “rock” thing without a band. The inability to “find the right people” and have the appropriate funds to pay those “right people” has created for me a catch 22. I haven’t yet had the confidence to go out and play solo, although I’ve been considering that as an option. I just think I need some new material to supplement the piano driven songs on Backstage Pass (as I don’t play guitar, and wouldn’t be playing songs like “Ladder” if it was just me and a keyboard), and I need to be a little more polished as a singer and pianist. I’ve also thought about going out and playing shows with two people... myself and one guitarist. That would certainly simplify things. Regardless, it will be a while before I step onto stage again.

So as far as goals go, one of my first is to become a better singer, a more fluid keyboardist, and a more confident performer. This involves a lot of practice and training. My second goal is to come up with a number of new songs which I can try out on a live audience, before I ever drop a dime in the recording studio. This involves writing, writing, and writing some more. Third, I am shooting to have approximately 1/2 of my album debt paid off by January 2007. I hope to spend a lot more time working (at my day job), writing, and practicing between now and then. I may re-evaluate how much I am working and how much I am creating/recording, come the new year. Forth, I am attempting to slowly move my small business 10x12 Productions forward. My work at 10x12 has me occasionally composing custom music and recording/editing voice-overs. I also file much of my freelance work (setting up/tearing down for concerts and events, running live sound, etc.) as “work done through 10x12 Productions.”

At the moment, I am a bit limited in my ability to take time off of work to focus on performing/playing out/recording/etc (although I probably should spend a little time here and there shopping the album w/ record labels and radio stations). My biggest priority is to get out of the woods financially... the longer I wait to take care of my debt, the more the interest grows, and the money I might make through selling CDs or playing shows is negligible compared to the income I make through my day jobs. I now make in one day (at my day jobs) what I might make in profit at 2-3 concerts, minus the headaches of maintaining and funding a band. Ecclesiastes 3 says there’s a time for a everything... "a time to tear down and a time to build (v.3)...a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain (v5)." I feel like I am in a phase where I need to be conservative with my spending, and in the area of risk taking. I need to build on what I have, and use the opportunities I am getting right now (running live sound, working at the tv station) to hone my abilities as a musician and engineer, and further my networking. Some people have asked me if I am ever going to move to Nashville, as this is often considered the mecca of Christian music. My short answer is, “I don’t feel like I am ready for that yet, but I am preparing for such possibilities.” I may talk more about this in a future blog.

What I Love, What I've Started to Enjoy, and What is More Likely To Happen
I think sometimes we can pigeon hole ourselves into believing that our interests only lie in one specific area (in my situation, this could involve the dream of becoming a solo artist) when in fact, we have other areas of interests which may take years to discover. Over my short life, I have realized that I enjoy a number of areas within music and production: writing (lyrics, songs, blogs, articles), editing (music/audio, even video), arranging and producing (songs for bands, jingles, commercials, tv/movie scores and sound effects), live mixing (churches, bars, etc...this requires you to be on your toes at all times), studio mixing (a more controlled environment), web design (although I am quite a novice in this area compared to some people), and worship leading (in moderation, as I am easily burnt out with this). However, my greatest passion involves communicating my own heart through songs/stories of personal struggle and victory. I love making records, but also just love writing. Maybe same day I’ll write a book. Who knows. Your interests can definitely change and mature as you get older.

For those of you who don’t know, I graduated from Liberty University (Lynchburg, VA) with a communications degree in 1998. I started off majoring in music, but switched my major to communications my second year, as I felt communications was a much more marketable career path. Many of the students in the music department were either going into classical vocal/piano performance, or were focusing on becoming music teachers. I really didn’t want to go either of those directions so I turned my attention towards broadcast media, namely television production. Over eight years later, I am quite glad I had the wisdom to go this direction. I figured I could freely pick up the musical knowledge I needed for my own projects by “hanging around the right people” (and I wouldn’t have to take out student loans for the experience). I realized that pursuing music as a career was risky business. Regardless, I am happy that I did take a year of music studies at Liberty as I still apply much of the information I gained through my introductory music theory classes. I imagine the classroom emphasis of melody and harmony was one contributor which helped to push me away from the more “beat driven” genre of rap and towards the melody dependent form of pop rock (Not to mention, my favorite band at the time, dc Talk, was also making that turn from rap to rock).

After graduating from Liberty, I started my career in television in 1998 in Columbus at a tv news station. I honestly “saw the job as a pay check” the first year, as I was doing nothing more than organizing scripts for news anchors and running teleprompter during newscasts. However, at the beginning of my second year, I was hired on as the evening news studio audio engineer (I ran the sound board during live newscasts). That was a little more interesting. I definitely made some glaring mistakes from time to time (like not turning on the weather man’s mic, etc), but the experience pushed me to be quicker on my toes, and allowed me to begin developing my ear for live audio mixing.

I now work at a different tv station/production house, and have been at this job for about 5 years or so (there was one year somewhere in the middle when I was not working at the station, and filled my wallet with freelance work). There are elements of work at the tv station that I really enjoy. Then, like any job, there are the regular routines which are less creative and less enjoyable. I suppose you learn to be thankful for everything, and it’s that much more fun when the really creative projects/tv shows surface.

I’ve discovered that there is much more work in the “sound for picture” field than in the “sound for records” field (not only in Columbus, but nationally, I think). You don’t have to look young and hip to compose music for movies or tv shows (or to be a record producer, although the competition in this field may be a little more competative). I think this is a line of work I could realistically be doing when I am in my 60s. The proposition of surviving as a rock artist involves so many things... your image, your age, your charisma, your popularity among fans, your reviews, etc. I would love to be a solo artist, but I’m realizing more and more that I need to try to move my “day job” forward just as much as I try to excel what I originally thought was my “dream job.” I need to keep in mind the possibilities of supporting a family down the road, having a career when I am older, etc. The cool thing is, the work that I am doing now (running live sound, working in the studio at the tv station) all ties in with what I long to do as a solo artist. The knowledge I am gaining now can easily be applied to the song writing, arranging, and mixing of my own projects. Will I work in television forever? I do hope I can move on someday to bigger things (maybe composing music for movies, or becoming a music producer), but in the meantime, it’s good to know I’ve acquired some skills which give me something to fall back on when my work as an artist is thin and and far from lucrative.

The Bigger Bull's Eye
At times, I wish I could just be out there "touching the world with my songs," but I've learned there is a greater good in furthering God's Kingdom... regardless of whatever trench I may find myself in... and there is always a reason to be joyful. Although I'm off target often, I am striving to learn the secret of contentment.

Proverbs for the Songwriter

I was reading back over my notes from the March 2006 IndieHeaven CIA summit in Nashville. Below are some insights which I found worth noting. I've been trying to apply these principles to my life and to my music.

1. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will.
2. Life isn't a promise, it's a chance.
3. Pay someone who knows what they're doing to run your merchandise table. If that person isn't selling stuff (even if that person is your friend), fire him/her.
4. Protect your profit margins.
5. Be a good business person and take your time.
6. Record your performances (evaluate yourself/even sell the recordings).
7. You're not a failure unless you quit.
8. Every time you play, play like you're playing for a sold out stadium.
9. If you don't care about what you're doing, no one else will.
10. Write from your heart, get all the voices out of your heart.
11. Expect God's annointing whether you're playing for 3 people or 3000.
12. Some people have lots of fame or fortune, but what are you complaining about; you have Jesus.
13. Labels can be good, they are not all bad.
14. Don't be jaded.
15. Don't complain, just write better songs.
16. Read. Have a love affair with books.
17. Have good critics.
18. You need one blind fan.
19. "For the truly creative mind in any field is no more than this - a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create - to create - to create - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of beauty and meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create. He must pour out creation. By some strange unknown pressing inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."
-- Pearl S. Buck
20. What you say between songs is just as important as the words in the songs.
21. Don't waste words. You have approximately 200 words to make your point (in a song).
22. Use images whenever possible. Cut out everything possible which doesn't paint a word picture.
23. Think of yourself as an entreprenuer.
24. Songs are not downloadable (they take a lot of work to create).
25. No one likes song writing (it always has moments of struggle, like giving birth).
26. Your life is worth writing about. Pay attention to your life.
27. I'd rather dig ditches than write songs with no meaning.
28. Songs can be true, but are they honest?
29. Make good music, not successful music.
30. I'll aspire to gratitude in all situations.

From Bars to Frat Parties to Sunday Night Church

This past week has been diverse, to say the least. As I mentioned in an above blog, God has been providing some more work for me. One of my sound technician friends got a sweet gig traveling around Europe with three Christian bands, and he has in turn handed some of his Columbus work over to me. Last wednesday, I ran sound for 3 folk/rock bands at Little Brothers (bar) in Columbus. On the rooster were Heather Waugh (http://www.myspace.com/heatherwaugh) and Ellery (http://www.myspace.com/ellerymusic), both of them quite talented bands. The sound system at Little Brothers is pretty amazing. On Friday night, I was at Bernie's Pizza & Bar in Marysville running sound for a Columbus band called Fade to Blue, and then Saturday night, I ran sound for them again at a private frat party for the OSU Veterinarian school. Then, on Sunday morning, I was running sound for a Presbyterian church in Powell, and later that afternoon, I was running sound for a Boy Scout celebration, also held at that church. On Sunday evening, I was at my home church's young adult church service, remembering how important it is that I have a group of Christian friends to keep me accountable and grounded.

I have been praying recently that I would have more opportunities to be a witness, and I've also been praying for more work. Turns out that God has been answering both of those prayers. At first, I felt a bit of guilt for even being at some of these above events (the bars and frat parties)...and then I was reminded by a friend that "maybe God had placed me at these places for a reason." I personally don't drink...not because I think its wrong in itself, but because I see what happens to people when their inhibitions are gone. I have enough trouble as it is living a Godly moral life... I certainly don't need alcohol to void any wisdom I already might have. So yeah, I was in the back with my ear plugs in, sipping my bottled water, and trying not to look too interested in what was going on. I imagine I looked a little uptight, or uncomfortable, or whatever. I suppose I was.

If anything, I think the last week has been a reminder to me that God knows what I can handle, and is protecting me from getting into a lot of things I shouldn't get into. Sometimes, I feel like the only thing I have to go on is my own conscience and will, and if those things break down, I'm sunk. However, I've become even more aware of the fact that there are angels surrounding me, there are people praying for me, and there is a God who is orchestrating my circumstances for His glory, and is empowering me every step of the way to do the right thing. Sure, I mess up from time to time, just like everyone does... but I can trust that God is never going to give me something that I can't handle. However, we also have to maintain this Godly fear, knowing that we could fall and do anything, be it without God's grace and intervention.

The Man in Black and Scaling Back

God is good. Financially, things have been getting quite tight recently, but God has provided some extra freelance jobs just when I needed them. At this current rate, it will probably take about another year and half or so to pay off what I owe from my last CD. Sometimes, I wonder if I made a mistake in producing that album...or at least attempting to record it so professionally...but I always go back to the idea that mistake or no mistake, it was a great learning experience...I learned a lot of stuff on my own which might have cost twice as much had I been attending college for such experience. I didn't get a diploma from the undertaking, but if anything, I made a cool CD...even if there are countless unsold copies sitting in my basement. At least my church friends think it is sweet and probably a few students out in the cornfields of Indiana. This is what happens when you put all your effort, energy, and money into a music recording when you have little or no following. I'm now convinced that I could have developed a following much easier and for a lot less of money if I had put that same money into a band, practice, promotion, and touring. At the end of the day, I finished a CD, and I had no resources left over for anything else. It's like spending all your cash on a sweet new office building, only to find out you have no money to cover water and heating bills. And on top of that, you don't have the funds to pay the employees who you need to make the business go. I suppose you live and learn. For me, it means taking every working opportunity I can. When everything is paid off, I still might be able to sell more CDs and make some profit way down the road. Who knows.

So anyways, along with working a little more, I've had the chance to spend my free time writing some new songs. Basically, over the last year, I've been trying to collect ideas & themes for a new project...but it hasn't been until the last month or so that I've actually tried to take those ideas to the next stage of creating melodies and arrangements. Writing new songs is always a strange and awkward step. I'm just not convinced that I nailed my musical nitch with "Backstage Pass." Sure it was a good recording and there were some decent songs...but after everything, I wonder if the project was "true, but not honest." I think at this point, I'm ready to be more honest about my faith, my struggles, my disappointments, etc. I watched "Walk the Line" (the Johnny Cash movie) yesterday, and I found it really interesting how he started singing songs which were "true, but not personally honest." His first audition at a recording studio was saved only by the more transparent tunes which he had written in the military. He eventually found his nitch, and went with it...the freight train chords, the voice as dark as the night, the black attire...that was Johnny. His record label told him he was nutts to record an album at a prison, but it later turned out (from what I understand) that that project sold more than the Beatles (during that time period at least). He was just being himself, and that is why people liked him.

Next week, I'm meeting with a vocal coach. She works in Columbus and in Nashville, and has done work with public speakers, and some well known singers...including one artist who is now on Gotee Records. I've just felt like to date, my vocal presentation has been very "vanilla." I just keep finding that a lot of rock is more about energy, attitude, and personality, and less about skill or vocal control (at least in classical terms). "Backstage Pass" turned out a CCM record, when I wanted it to be a rock project...and I think there are a number of reasons for this. For one, much of my singing was very "clean"...also the mix was very "clean"...a little too polished for a rock record...third, I think (I mentioned above), some of the songs were void of real honesty. I was writing a lot of that stuff for kids/people in my church, in such a way that I was guarding some of my true feelings. I don't think this is true of the entire project...songs like "Hurricane" and "By Now" are a little more transparent, and unsurprisingly, these are the songs many listeners gravitate the most towards. I believe "Backstage Pass" was just another step towards discovering who I am as a writer/solo artist. Some people find "their sound" on their first record. I've done a lot of growing up in the public eye...from Mouse in the House to My Almamater to Dishes to Backstage Pass to....???

With this being said, I've found that being honest doesn't neccessarily mean that I spill all my bitterness, rage, and anger. The reality is, I've been frustrated, lost, and a little depressed at times, but I can't say that I am an angry or bitter person...at least not now. I think a lot of those emotions are in my past. I have to write what I know. If I'm not angry, I shouldn't pretend like I am. (If I'm not a gansta from the hood, I shouldn't be afraid to write about suburbia.) However, there are certain "hot spots" in my life if you will...issues and concerns which can trigger hours of monologue (just ask any of my close friends). These are the subjects/concerns I need to write about. If I can talk about it with passion, I should be able to write about it with passion. Along with this, I've learned that I have to be willing to throw songs away. A song in the round bin may be the ringing inspiration for the song you wanted to write all along.

I've been practicing the piano a lot, although I sometimes get distracted with writing new songs and I fail to do my daily scales and exercises. This shows pretty quickly. I've decided I really need to write tunes which will "carry" even with a piano and vocal. If I can get a band, great. If I can't, I can set up my keyboard, play the songs, and people will still hopefully relate.

You may ask, "why are you thinking about another project when you are still in deep debt from the previous project?" Well, first of all, it will take me a while to get another good 10 songs under my belt...and the entire writing process is basically free. After I have some new tunes, I want to play them live and try them out on a live audience. If people like the songs, I may consider recording the songs. If people don't like the songs, I'll go back to the drawing board. I made some pretty stupid moves from a business standpoint when it came to producing "Backstage Pass." I went all out production-wise and I'm still paying for it. I should have been a little more patience and wise. I should have taken a band out before I ever started recording the album. I should have scaled back the budget a bit, and I should have had all the money up front and ready to go. Not a single penny should have been borrowed through a credit card. If anything, a small business loan would have been the way to go. It hurts to think how much I've paid in interest over the last year and a half. Some of my cards (until recently) were in the neighborhood of %24 interest. Ouch. If I ever do another project, I will approach it much differently. I have considered releasing the next project for digital download only. This means the album artwork would be scaled back substantially, and there would be 0 cost in duplication, packaging, etc. I'd also possibly sell the album cheaper ($5-$7) and would market it online through myspace, etc. This might be a way to reach more people with less spending. Again, these are just ideas...no commitments here...just ideas.

For those of you praying for me, please pray for my brother and niece as they leave for Europe this Thursday. They will be gone for two weeks. If you'd like, you can follow their travels at http://www.gegners.blogspot.com.

Cappuccinos, Computers, and Simon Cowell

Well, Mondays are my day off, generally. Right now, I'm hanging out at my favorite coffee shop, Scotty McBean's. I woke up with a sore throat this morning...not sure what the deal is with that...probably due to some stray germs at one of my crazy church parties. I attend a young adult group with "major" events on Thursdays and Sundays...and then "minor" events (home group, Bible studies, movie nights, birthday parties, etc.) almost every other night of the week. I generally am out with these church friends about 3-5 times a week. Every so often you run into the guy who (without notice) coughs right in your face...or wipes his nose and then offers you a handshake. Wow. And they say elementary schools are bad. Anyway, yes...it's nice to have a day off...and the warmth of a tall foamy cappuccino is soothing on a sandy throat.

The weather is incredible outside, but I'm stuck inside the coffee shop until the battery on my laptop is fully charged. I love my Powerbook Mac G4. I've basically downsized my whole studio into one box. It's amazing how far technology has come. I used to have to have a roomfull of synthesizers to do what I do (arranging, programming, etc.), but now I have gigs and gigs of sounds right on this very machine I'm typing from...everything from realistic strings and orchestral instruments to crazy ethnic instruments. The great thing about "soft synths" (keyboard sounds in the form of software) is the fact that you can run any of these sounds through any of the others effects (reverbs, etc.) that are installed on your machine. This would involve a lot of cabling and other limitations on the hardware level. Also, "soft synths" are a ton cheaper. Now a days, you can get the same amount of sounds you'd find in a $2000 keyboard for $200, only in software form. The downside? You have to keep everything updated...the more software you have, the more of a pain it is when you get a new computer or upgrade to a newer operating system. Regardless, it's worked pretty well for me. I recently finished some string arrangements/programming (organ, pads, etc) for 4 songs on a new album by Fresno, CA worship artist Jon Shabaglian (produced by Michael Quinlan). Hopefully, some of his stuff will be up on line one of these days. The whole laptop phenomenon is really cool, until someone walks by your table at the coffee shop, trips on your power cord, and your whole studio crashes to the floor...or you make the mistake of giving your laptop a swig of cappuccino. And that is why we have insurance...and backup DVDs.

I've had some interesting comments from readers regarding my last 2-3 blog entries. I had one guy tell me that my writings sounded "whiny, very self doubting and in question of everything." My response to him? "Yeah, I agree. They sound a lot like the Psalms, huh?" My purpose in writing this blog is not to put myself in the center of the universe, nor complain myself into the limelight. I just put my feelings out on the table because I find that it's very healing...for me, and hopefully for "my readers." No one person wants to admit he's/she's struggled with disliking his/her "makeup." However, I believe that we have all had issues with self-doubt...everyone from the "I'm too cool not to take my sunglasses off inside" Bono savior types to the "I have everything going for me and you don't" Simon Cowell bullies of the world. I think Jesus is the only example of someone who was completely sure of Himself...He had no desire to win anyone's approval because his life was about servanthood to mankind and submission to His father's will. He wasn't wrapped up in the popularity contest that we all, consciously or unconsciously, emerse ourselves in. He knew the heart of man, and if anything, He was trying to win mankind's submission and obedience, not mankind's pop culture stamp of approval. We recently celebrated Good Friday. Interesting how one day the crowds were waving palm branches and cheering Christ to stardom while days later, they were spitting at him and hurling obscenities while He hung on a cross of splintered wood. My point in all this? We are fickle and broken people...and it's important for us to admit that. We need to be open and vulnerable before God and others. This whole idea of "losing your life" is so contrary to everything the world teaches us. I'm still wrestling with this concept, but if anything, I think it starts with an honest heart that's willing to say, "yeah, I'm screwed up and I need help."

With this being said, I continue on an interesting journey (as we all do). The band continues to be on hold, and will be so for a while. In the meantime, I'm trying to invest in reading books, writing, and further investigation of God's will and how that incarnates in my life. Sometimes, there are very obvious opportunites God puts right in front of our faces, yet we want to find something "bigger and better" because we fear our own identity and/or self-worth may be at stake, when in fact, our true identity and greatest accomplishment is often found in the ordinary, most humbling of duties.

The CIA Summit in Nashville

Today, it's back to the grind...sort of, I guess I'm not too busy if I have the time to write an entry in my blog. But anyways...

This past weekend, I had the opportunity of traveling with two friends to Nashville for the IndieHeaven CIA Summit (http://www.ciasummit.com/), essentially a workshop for the independent artist. There were at least a couple hundred musicians packed in Building 8/Ecclesia church in Nashville. I would have to say I went there not knowing what to expect...I had honestly set my expectations pretty low. Turns it was a great experience, and I went away with a lot to chew on, both spiritually and from an artist/business angle. Some of the highlights included an hour song writing, etc. session with Andrew Peterson and a saturday evening concert with Phil Keaggy. There were also a number of sessions with industry professionals - producers, promoters, as well as a number of indie artists who were becoming pretty successful "doing it on their own."

It was indeed refreshing taking a trip like this, as there was no pressure of performing, lugging equipment around, or baby sitting a band. My friends Andy, Patrick and I had the chance to sit back and soak in a lot of helpful information and advice without having to be in any sort of spotlight. We attended a number of the sessions, but skipped a few here and there so we could do some sight seeing (neither of my friends had been to Nashville).

As usual, the trip was interesting and frustrating at moments (I never take one that isn't). Friday night, we stayed at a Best Western Hotel...to say the least, it was not the cream of the crop of accommodations. The office was under renovation, and there was one grumpy older woman working the front desk. I felt bad for her as she was probably being paid minimum wage, and was constantly being bombarded by constumers expecting 5 star pampering. While I was standing in line at the front desk, she received several calls, one from a woman who couldn't find her tv remote and desperately needed one (can you say lazy?) and one gentlemen (who came to the front desk) who couldn't get his key card to work. Finally, it was my turn. I asked for a roll away bed, but apparently there was no one else working who could get us one. As an alternative, my friend Andy and I drove around town that night looking for a store which carried inflatable mattresses. We finally found a Target which stocked roll-up camping pads. That night, Andy slept on the floor using his camping bed and a few extra blankets which we borrowed from the hotel (it took at least 4 phone calls and a 1/2 hour of waiting that evening to get the extra blankets). The non-smoking room reeked of cigarettes, so much so my never-used hanging collared shirts went straight into the washer when I got back to Columbus. Although they were still clean, the odor was so strong I couldn't bear to wear them.

Saturday morning, we went to the world famous culture-packed Waffle House! After waiting a good 20 minutes in shoulder to shoulder mayhem, we sat down to a fresh meal of waffles and smothered covered and diced hash browns. After finishing our meal, I went to pay but discovered it was nearly impossible to get to the cash register! I literally had to walk across and stand on a bench seat to pay for my meal. Apparently, Waffle House never thought about the register accessibility when they laid out their restaurant floor plans.

We attended several sessions that morning and later that afternoon, we took a little tour of the city, driving around music row (this is a city block dedicated to music business and studios) and walking the country bar lined streets of downtown Nashville. Along the sidewalks, we encountered at least several older gentlemen playing their guitars which were accompanied by open cases of loose change and dollar bills. One scraggly gaunt faced man solicited store visitors for money. His raspy baritone voice skipped like a broken record with a muffled, "Can you spare some change?" Always difficult to know what Christ would do in these situations. On a warmer note, the sky was slightly overcast, yet blue...a nice change from the recent frigid 40 degrees days in Columbus. My friends wanted a picture in front of the Hard Rock Cafe for their myspace site. Later that afternoon, we returned to the conference for some more sessions, and an evening concert by an indie worship band.

That night, the Best Western staff did bring us a rollaway bed, which was nice. However, as we left the next morning, I found that my $10 roll away bed fee was actually billed as a "pet fee." Whatever. It was $10 either way. (To check out a funny impromtu video interview shot by my friend Joe, go to the link below. I am talking about this "pet fee").

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=603792447&n=2

Weird just got weirder when we found out that the continental breakfast of Frosted Flakes and OJ was being served in "room 124." No, this wasn't the front lobby...it was a regular hotel room stocked with a very conservative breakfast and a green tinted television displaying the Nashville local news. It was a little disconcerting eating my Cherrios with random strangers in a closed hotel room.

After packing up our stuff, we headed back to Building 8/Ecclesia church for the morning service (Building 8 is located at "The Factory," a large remodeled abandoned factory which now houses a number of businesses/studios including Building 8 which doubles as a conference/concert room and church. We comically named the bathroom Building 1 and Building 2). Their worship band was amazing that morning and it was great to hear some new worship songs. The morning message was on marriage...not terribly applicable to myself and my two whinsing single friends. Don't you love marriage messages? I've grown to ignore them mostly. I think the highlight was when the pastor told everyone to turn to their "significant loved one" and say "I love you." Next, he suggested the same exercise, this time only with the substituted words, "olive juice." I think that was funny in 4th grade.

Overall, despite all the weird moments on this trip, I had a great time. It was both a humbling and challenging experience. In some ways, I was encouraged...in other ways, it was a harsh wake-up call. It's a bit awkward to be in a room full of 200 plus people all trying to do (on some level) the same thing as you . I felt like a little fish in a pretty big body of water. I have this problem of taking things too seriously and really getting ahead of myself in a lot of ways. As my friends know, I can be a little intense at times. There were moments at the conference where I really felt like throwing in the towel with this whole music thing. However, when all was said and done, I think the Lord was telling me to get my eyes back on Him instead of worrying about all the things the world and even the church like to run after. There is something to be said about being content where you're at. I am indeed a little fish, but that's ok. That's what God's called me to be. In a world that wants you to "believe in yourself," I find it comforting to know I can trust a God who isn't driven by impulse, peer pressure, or indigestion. I am where He wants me to be, and for the first time in a long time, I'm ok with that.

Video Clip from Bluffton

Click here to view a low-fi video clip from our show at Bluffton University on Feb 26, 2006.

Huntington University March 7th, 2006

photos by Matt Ayers (http://www.myspace.com/ayersphotography)

Huntington University March 7th, 2006

We had a great time at Huntington University yesterday, but the trip did not come without some struggles. Rob, Joey, and Chris arrived around 9:30 Monday night and I, on the other band, traveled with my friend Dave and his wife, and we did not get into Huntington until midnight...the night before the show. Dave took his ford pickup truck, and our original plan was rent a trailer from U-Haul and attach it to the back of the truck (to put all our gear in). Turns out, we found out at around 5pm on Monday that U-Haul has a lawsuit with Ford, and will not rent trailers to anyone using a Ford Explorer...funny thing is, Dave's truck is basically a Ford Explorer with the rear end replaced with a truck bed. So, we ended up barely fitting my keyboard & sound gear, and Dave's drum kit in the back of the truck.

Things got even more interesting when we were stranded on rt. 33 in Bellefontaine, OH for an hour and 45 minutes. Apparently, there was an accident not far ahead of us between a pickup truck and Winnebago. It's easy to complain about this stuff, but had we left a few minutes early, we might have been the ones in the accident.

As mentioned above, we arrived at Huntington around midnight, about 2 hours later than expected. The sound man, Justin, was very kind to wait around for us. We basically dropped our gear off and then headed to the hotel to crash for the night.

Tuesday morning came quickly. We needed to be back at the Merrilat Centre at 8am to finish getting set up. Rob, Joey, and Chris had already set up their guitars and had had sound checks the night before. Everyone pitched in and by 8:45, we had the drums, keyboard/midi arsenal, and the merchandise table ready to go. Both Justin (sound) and Brad (lighting) were extremely helpful and professional.

Students started to roll in around 9:45, some of them collapsing in their seats with hoodies over their heads. Oh yes, the college experience, and the thrill of required chapels. =) Overall, we played a decent show although I don't think we were particularly into it. Between the late night and dissention among the band, I was honestly a little discouraged, and was wondering what else could possibly go wrong.

After the show, Joey, Rob, and Chris were off to Columbus pretty quickly. Chris had a music lesson he needed to get to. Dave and I tore down, and then grabbed some lunch at the school cafeteria. Dave's wife arrived shortly with the truck (and their dog), we packed things up, and headed home.

All in all, I think it was great learning and growing experience. I'm a bit miffed about where to go from here. It was sort of a bittersweet experience. In some ways, I see how God provided and blessed our time at Huntington...I also see a ton of areas I need to improve in from a standpoint of performance. Our next scheduled show is at Ohio Wesleyan on April 29th. We also have a number of potential shows at other colleges.

Sometimes, you think life is just supposed to be handed to you...I'm learning that there is a big difference between recording an album in a studio and then pulling off that same music on stage, while maintaining an audiences' interest.

Thanks to Matt Ayers for the sweet pictures above. We will have more posted in the near future. Check out Matt's page at: http://www.myspace.com/ayersphotography

And the votes are in...

These two fans were standing at front stage rating us like they do in the olympics!!
Photos by Pamela West.

To Bluffton and Beyond!!!

We had a great time at Bluffton University last Sunday!! Made some new friends, got to hang out with Everyday Sunday and Indie United, and we had an endless supply of Teddy Grahams in the green room. Sweet!! Thanks to everyone who helped us load our gear in and out...thanks to Dean Sound in Finley for the great mix and lights. Thanks to Everyday Sunday for letting us open for you guys! Also, a shout out to the band: Joey, Rob, Chris, and Dave. You guys rock!! Also, thanks to the 250 some fans who came out to the show...we even had a couple drive up from Columbus. Wow!

We're looking forward to this coming Tuesday at Huntington University in Huntington, IN. I've already made some Huntington friends via. myspace (www.myspace.com/marcandreband). One guy even volunteered to shoot some pictures of the show!! So, we should have pics posted soon after Tuesday.

God has been providing in amazing ways. I'm keeping pretty busy between the gigs, and my other jobs. Still working at GTN tv, running sound at a local church, and trying to upkeep 10x12 Productions. Next week, I'll be starting a few freelance jobs with draw productions (www.drawproductions.com). As always, I'm trying to keep God in the center of everything I do...as Paul said, all this other stuff is rubbish next to knowing Christ.

Bluffton University Feb 26, 2006