Pairing Off

You know you are old when kids you used to work with in Neighborhood Bible Club are pairing off. I attend a young adult group both on Thursday and Sunday night, and it is a strange dynamic at times. There's some people that are there just to grow in their walk with God, and then there are those guys and girls who have one thing on their minds - getting hooked up. I once attended a young adult group where a number of the girls where frustrated because the guys in the group were always trying to get numbers and go on dates. So, I suppose I'm a little gun shy now, fearing that I will offend a girl if I try to ask her out. Friends of mine keep bringing random women to the group, and before much more than a week goes by, these girls seem to start pairing off with guys in the group. It's like how do you even have an opportunity when every potential interest is swept away before you have a chance to open your mouth? On some level, it's frustrating even trying. I've met some girls who appeared to have some interest, and more often than not, they are just being friendly. How's a guy to read these things? I certainly can't. I wish the whole relationship thing could be simpler. Maybe this is extremely selfish, but it was annoying tonight as I continued to get stuck in conversations with guys (not that I wasn't interested, but this seems to happen every week), and hardly had a chance to meet any young ladies.

I wonder sometimes who actually reads this blog. For a while, I kept from addressing certain issues in the blog (ie. the dating issue above) because I didn't want people to see that I really struggled. I've been afraid that some woman was going to read my ramblings and think I was a freak, and make decisions about me before ever getting to know me. I guess there is just so much pressure to be perfect. It seems like women these days want the perfect guy, the man who is always strong...the reality is, I'm an average guy who loves Jesus, and makes a lot of mistakes in the journey. I'm not perfect; I'm not some super hunk nor super saint. I'm just a genuine guy who wants to learn to love a genuine girl. Why is this so difficult? The more you desire to have a relationship, the more it seems wrong, as such things should occur naturally without forced effort. So again, I try to forget that I ever wanted such things, as I once more seek God for a patient heart.