Singlehood in the Rear View: Chapter 1

Well, the days are winding down and we’re getting closer and closer to the wedding! Crystal and I are anxiously awaiting our new life together! Over the last couple months or so, it’s been both fun and interesting sharing our news with friends and family. Although the majority of comments we’ve heard are quite positive, below are some real shockers we’ve heard from Christians, many of which are currently in Christian marriages.

“Another one bites the dust.”

“Should we tell her she’s a fool?” (for getting married)

“May God bless you in this time of bliss and even when all that wears off.”

"You're getting married? You poor man."

“My advice about marriage - don’t.”

Three ladies in an office at my work were sitting around talking.
“We heard you got engaged, we were just complaining about spouses.”
To which I responded , “I never plan to complain about my spouse in front of other people.”
One of the ladies replied, “Hopefully, you won’t need to complain in front of other people and hopefully she won’t either.”

Here’s the worst one of all I think.
“ It’s a conspiracy among married guys to get you to join in their pain. We say marriage is great, and make sure our wives are listening.”

Should It Be A Laughing Matter?
Wow. As a soon-to-be married couple, we both look at the comments above and have to wonder why some Christian husbands and wives are so negative towards the institution of marriage, even if in a joking manner. As a further example, here are excerpts from the acts of some popular Christian comedians.

“I just recently had my 13 year performance review. On overall companionship, I got a 7... out of 100. On listening, I got a 0. My attitude during Thanksgiving... 0. Choosing the parking space that she would have chosen... -0. You should see my performance objectives. Stuff like (I) will try next year not to do everything wrong... Thanks honey, you had me at idiot.”

“I think this is when we learn who’s really in control. We do anything they tell us.” (a man talking about life after his engagement)

“Sometimes my wife lets me hold her purse. That’s the closest I get to my money.”

A single comedian talking to one of his married guy friends.
"We're all going bowling. You wanna go?" He's like, "I can't." I'm like, "Why Not?" "It's my finger." "What happened to your finger?" "It's got a ring on it. I can't do anything now."

“He’s laughing at you because he’s a puppet.” (the comedian talking to his puppet, and referring to someone in the audience)
The puppet responds,“He’s married. He knows what it’s like.”

I’m sure someone is going to comment that I should lighten up, but I will argue that many truths are spoken in jest. These folks may be joking, but in any case, they are painting a pretty dismal picture of matrimony. Here are some additional complains I’ve heard from yes, Christians.

A conversation I had in the restroom with a couple married Christian men -
One guy exclaimed, “He hasn’t been out of debt yet - that’s what happens when you get married.”
As I stood at the urinal, I said to another guy beside me - “it’s good to manage your money” to which he replied, “you’ve got to learn to manage your wife’s money.”

As some friends and I sat around the lunch table, one Christian guy was griping about his wife and about how “He never gets any.”

No One Likes A Tongue Exam
I’m not an expert here, but I’m thinking one or both parties in the above marriages is not particularly in tune with the Holy Spirit. There has to be some selfishness on one or both sides. I just think it’s so sad how, of all people, Christians can be very degrading towards their spouses as the unbelieving world watches and wonders why (A) anyone would want to be a Christian and (B) why anyone would desire to be married, if marriage, even Christian marriage, is so terrible. Of course, there is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect people, and yes, marriage takes work, but as an exhortment to those who like to bad mouth their spouses, take this to heart. Others are listening. Your testimony is on the line. What you say about your spouse says a lot about your own attitude and maturity. Ouch.

On The Brighter Side
In light of all this, we are so glad to have some really Godly couples who we look up to... relationships which model Christlike love, forgiveness, and selflessness. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to those of you who have modeled Jesus in your union, and have swum upstream in a world set on spoiling the beauty and sacredness of marriage.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." I Cor 13:4-7

“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” James 3:5-12

To read chapter 2 of Singlehood in the Rear View, click here.

The Horseman Trailer

I composed the music for the trailer and will soon be writing the music for the movie itself, Sound design by Brent Dye. Directed by Ben Bays.

The Horseman - Room 101 Productions

Marriage and a Movie

Wow! It’s been almost a month since I’ve written in the blog! Well, I thought I’d take a few moments to bring you up to date on the latest wedding planning details, not to mention a few other going ons. To start, Crystal and I have been very busy getting ready for the wedding on September 27th! Since the last time I wrote, we have:

-Printed the invitations (my Dad is beginning to address the envelopes in calligraphy).
-Made arrangements with the “cake lady.”
-Finished our registration at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and Target.
-Finalized the menu with the reception caterer (after having a tasting).
-Met with one of our pastors for a counseling session (we will have more).
-Started to pick music for the wedding, and have begun lining up various musicians.
-Secured a soundman for the ceremony.
-Lined up a DJ and sound system for the reception.
-Begun picking old photos for a slide show.
-Reserved a room at the church for our rehearsal dinner.
-Worked out the details of tuxes.
-Picked out our wedding bands.
-Worked out details with the photographer.
-Announced our engagement in both Columbus and Ashland newspapers.
-Checked out several hotels for the wedding party and out of state guests.
-Both of our mom’s have purchased their dresses.
-Made plans for two wedding showers, both in August.
-Investigated what’s involved in getting a wedding license.

God has helped us to accomplish a lot in the last month, but there’s still a lot to do! In addition to helping in the planning of a wedding, I have been busy updating my studio as I will be officially beginning the music on my friend Ben’s Bay’s new movie this coming week. Ben is also getting married this year (in October), so we’re both on a tight schedule to wrap up work on the movie before our respective weddings. The Horseman is a short film (about 30 minutes), and we are trying to get through 3 minutes of music for every 8 hours of work.

We had a number of technical difficulties the last time around when I wrote the music for The Truck Driver, mainly because I was using an older iMac computer and was trying to run the majority of my orchestral samples off of a piece of equipment which was both slower and less reliable than I had once thought (A MUSE Receptor). Essentially what I’m doing now is using a much faster iMac and am streaming all of my samples off of a fast RAID hard drive, and am using the Receptor to only run a small set of sounds (mainly ambient sounds, choir, synth bass, and some orchestral drum loops). I am running all of my other samples (brass, strings, woodwinds, percussion, mandolin, etc.) directly from my computer. I’ve done some tests and I’m very pleased at how things are working technically so far. I pray that work on The Horseman will be extremely smooth.

That’s all I’ve got for now! Stay tuned for more details!

Pictured is my studio where I produce custom music.

Keep The Planning In Perspective

I don't have a lot of time to write this evening, but I thought I'd take a second to give you a quick run down of what we've got accomplished over the last couple weeks. Its' been busy, and we're just trying to remember what one friend told us - "Don't let all the planning get in the way of what's most important, your relationship with each other and with God." Wise words. Anyways, here's a list of some of things we've done.

-Booked a 7 day trip to Aruba.
-Started registering at several department stores.
-Moved most of Crystal's belongings to Columbus (except for clothes).
-Negotiated some food options with the caterer (for the reception).
-Picked up Crystal's sister's bridesmaid dress.
-Set up marriage counseling.
-Partially organized the apartment.

In addition...

Crystal closes on her house in Ashland tomorrow.
She also received her passport this last week.

This week and weekend, we hope to:

-Pick out tuxes.
-Finish registering.
-Look into the details of the cake and flowers.

In the meantime...

I am updating my studio and preparing to work on the music for "The Horseman," a movie my friend Ben Bays is producing. This project will need to finished by October so that the movie can be entered in film festivals.

Little by little!

Goodbye to the Bachelor Pad

Here's the latest news! This past weekend was quite busy as we moved my studio room into a different bedroom and painted our future bedroom. Crystal brought a lot of her furniture down to Columbus last weekend, and will be moving the rest of it down this Friday. She is closing on her house (in Ashland) in a couple weeks, and will be living with her parents in Ashland until we get married.

We still don't have a concrete wedding date and location and we are continuing to search for an affordable, but nice reception facility. This Saturday, we'll be looking at 4-5 reception possibilities, and we plan to make some final decisions this coming week. We're hoping to be married in either September or October, but it's been a challenge trying to align with everybody's schedule while considering available wedding and reception venues. My parents have remarked how much more simple it was when they were married!

Could use your prayers. Stay tuned!

Suggestions on Caribbean Trip

Just wondered if any of you out there have traveled to the Caribbean? We are looking at taking a trip to Aruba, St Thomas, or the like. We are searching for a good travel agency and are curious about what Island would be the most beautiful and the most bang for our buck. We're also contemplating the possibilities of hurricanes in the months of September and October. Any thoughts would be helpful either through a post here or through email. Thanks!

Good Times At The Zoo

Yesterday, a beautiful sunny afternoon found Crystal and I enjoying a peculiar trip to the Columbus Zoo. The place was packed as thousands of free passes had been given out to families through the mail. It felt like we were at the state fair, both due to the number of visitors and variety of visitors we encountered. Tattoos, mid drifts, and shouting parents were among some of the attractions. We also had fun checking out the penguins, monkeys, gorillas, manatees, and bats, among others. Fortunately, I brought along my digital camera and was able to capture some of the highlights through picture and video. Click here to see some of the fun. "Punch Him" and "Where's The Monkey?" are two of my favorites.

The Evening Of Elegance

Yesterday, our church hosted a young adult formal event known as the Evening of Elegance. The theme this year was "The Cat Screamed At Midnight" and the activities of the shindig included solving a bizarre murder mystery and consuming a strange starch heavy menu of lasagna, alfredo pasta, potatoes, chicken, salad, bread, and tiramisu. I went with my girlfriend Crystal and her sister Carrie from Ashland and we all dressed our fanciest.

Don't Cry Over Spilled Cappuccino

So my brother and sister-in-law bought me a cappuccino maker for Christmas and I am way excited. I now can spend $5.00 on a half a pound of expresso which lasts me a week or two compared to spending $5.00 per cup at Starbucks. I can't tell you how responsible I feel for curbing my habit of buying overpriced coffee. This is truly a new era.

Well, it's taken me a couple weeks to really get the hang of steaming and frothing milk, but I think I've got it down pretty good now. Regardless, fixing a cappuccino requires a minor commitment, maybe 10 or 15 minutes with the pre-cleaning and the post-cleaning of the machine. So, this morning, I awoke, as usual, running a little behind. This is especially typical for Mondays, as it is always a challenge to transition back into work at the beginning of the week. Not to mention, I've found myself a little more of a night owl over the last month or so. Of all days, This morning was begging for a healthy dose of caffeine.

After a swift shower, I wandered into the kitchen, poured myself a glass of juice, grabbed a bowl of Cranberry Almond Crunch (which I topped w/ blueberries) and fired up the old trusty cappuccino machine. The smell of the brewing expresso was a breath of fresh semi- consciousness... or something like that. I kept looking at the clock. "Dude," I thought, "I need to get out of here... but I really want a cup of coffee for the road." Finally, the expresso was ready, and after loudly steaming and frothing a small cup of milk, I proceeded to mix the two, add a dash of sugar, and transfer the wonderful concoction into my travel mug. I turned off the machine, grabbed my coat, hat, gloves, book bag, and gym bag and dropped them at the front entrance of my apartment. I then placed my travel mug full of warm caffeine goodness on top of my tv which sat by the door. I put on my shoes. Then, finally, I was ready to go. With my gloves on, I reached for the travel mug sitting on top of the television set. And then it happened. Like a slow motion heart breaker, the lid of my travel mug slipped off as the priceless contents of the nearly overflowing cup of carefully prepared cappuccino splattered down the front of my tv set and across several feet of beige carpet outlining the linoleum square neighboring my apartment front door. I couldn't believe my eyes as my spirit sank like the grounds of poorly filtered coffee spiral to the depths of a cheap styrofoam cup. Wow, what a way to begin a monday. But you know, there's a lot worse things that a cup of spilled cappuccino.

After drenching my carpet with Oxi Clean (it's all I had), I set out to work with the thankful thought that I hadn't alternately sprayed the front seats of my new car with the cappuccino which now soaked my apartment floor. And yeah, I later spent $5.00 at Starbucks. You could call it a rebound relationship.

The Truck Driver Score

Last fall, I completed the music for a short thriller film entitled The Truck Driver, directed by my friend Ben Bays (Room 101 Productions. Copyright 2007). The other day, I edited the 45 minute score down to about 15 minutes, compiling what I think are the best sections. You can take a listen here (just click on "demo"). Just be advised the music gets rather intense, and may not be the best choice for the stereo right before you go to bed.

Keep in mind this is copyrighted material, so please don't use this for your own movie or production. I have posted this with the permission of the director, Ben Bays. Ben is currently editing his next movie, "The Horseman." I've seen still shots from the movie and it looks amazing.

Some Christmas Pictures

When Songs Won’t Fall From The Sky

I’ve forgotten how much work it is to write songs. It’s hard to believe that Backstage Pass arrived off the press a little over three years ago. Much has changed since then. Much. The prospect of composing a new project comes with it much soul searching and forces a lot questions such as “who is your audience?” and “what do you want to write about?” and “what do you have to say that people can connect with?” and “who are your key influences and what direction do you want to explore musically while staying relevant and unique?” Maybe some song writers just sit down and songs magically fall in their lap. For me, song composition is a holistic adventure. It requires deep emotional and spiritual inventory. I want to write music that is honest, yet along with this, I have to have a good handle on what I’m passionate about, and what's killing me inside.

I wouldn’t say writing Backstage Pass was easy. It was actually quite a grueling process. I was stretched to limits in many ways... musically, relationally, and financially. Yet, like the birth of a child, you somehow forget about the pain once you’re holding the new born in your arms. (Certainly, a baby has a little more value than a CD, but you get my point.) I still remember seeing the first UPS box of Backstage Pass CDs in the lobby of the tv station I work at, and I was about as giddy as a four year old anticipating a fire engine on Christmas morning. It’s hard to explain.

In a way, I feel like I’m starting all over. Certainly, I can build on the technical knowledge I acquired through the process of developing Backstage Pass, but musically speaking, creating new lyrics and melodies is like visiting an uncharted country, wonderful yet strangely foreign at the same time. After a year or so of hoping finished songs would fall from the sky, I’ve made a new commitment to spend one night a week in front of a piano, prayerfully jotting down and recording any thought which strikes my creative interest. For the last several weeks, I’ve been setting aside Tuesday evening as “song night.” Sometimes, I write from home, yet usually, I prefer to sit in front of a Yamaha grand piano in the beautiful sanctuary of a local church. For inspiration sakes, I find that it’s good to get away from the electronics and get back to the basics of piano, voice, and melody. I love keyboards and programming, but there are times when cool sounds can be a cover for a mediocre melody, a lazy chord progression, or a half hearted lyric. If the song works with a piano, it will go even further with a rhythm section and a clever string arrangement. Sometimes, I want so badly to pull out the sweet synth patch and build a song from that, but I have to force myself to keep to the basics, at least in the initial composition process.

Well, fortunately, this time around, I don’t have a break up to write about. Three tunes on Backstage Pass were in fact influenced by a relationship which didn’t turn out as expected. These days, I’m trying to broaden my focus past my own let downs, and instead of complaining about my own little world, I want to speak of bigger issues which are affecting people on a larger scale. And no, my next project is not going to be about global warming. I’m dealing with bigger questions involving eternity and why we’re here and who God is and how screwed up our perceptions are. Stuff like that.

I would really appreciate your prayers as I begin this journey. I just want to glorify God in what I create, and want to say what He wants me to say. Pray for me on Tuesday nights if you think about it.

The piano pictured above is the one I often write from.

Day 4 of "To Bavaria and Beyond" is coming soon...

Oh, If The Pilgrims Could See Us Now

Unlike most of the country, my family celebrated Thanksgiving over the weekend. My brother and his family from Indiana arrived Friday evening, and we all enjoyed a turkey and dressing feast at my parent's house on Saturday. Unfortunately, my sister from Germany was unable to make it to the states this year. Joining us was my mom and dad's friend Marta along with her two boys, Sharon and Mike. Other activities of the day included some intense leaf raking, ladder repelling (into a large leaf pile), and bag pulling (we dragged the kids around at high speeds on tearing leaf bags). Saturday evening, my two nieces and my oldest nephew stopped over to my studio and we continued our yearly tradition of composing a strange but powerful song about nothing. This year's song was called "Randy" and told the story of a poor guy who's one dream in life was to buy a financial instructional book from fictional author Dr. Riley. You can listen to our extremely weird song here. We pray that it inspires you to follow your dreams, whatever they may be. You can thank my nephew for most of the lyrics.