As I was reading the following paragraphs, there is one sentence that grabbed my attention. It is a sentence about my future son. Here is an excerpt from my blog posted on July 15th, 2007.
“As Christians, we have to believe that God is in control. He knew that my parents would marry, He knew that I would be their child, and He knew I would be writing this blog you are reading right now. He knew you before time began, He watched you as you were woven together in the secret place of your mother’s womb. He knows who my children will be (if they will be). He can see me playing catch with my five year old son ten years from now. He knows who my son’s sons and daughters will be. He also knows if I won’t ever marry.”
When I wrote this blog, I had no idea who I would marry. However, God knew Crystal and I would meet through eHarmony six months later. He also knew that our son Joshua would be born in 2012 and would be five years old in 2017, ten years from when I wrote this Art of Singlehood blog! I had no idea I would even have a son, but God did! I also had no idea our son would be five years old ten years from when I wrote this blog! Amazing! Now if the blog is truly prophetic, I expect Joshua to someday have at least a couple sons and daughters!
It’s also crazy how the words in this blog entry mimic many of the themes expressed in my latest album, Snapshots of the Shattered Soul. Even in 2007, I was chewing on this idea that God is an artist who is transforming our broken lives into masterpieces for His glory (ie. Portrait of Me). The blog continues...
“Right now, I’m sitting on the front porch of our family’s cabin in Upper Peninsula Michigan. The trees are rustling with a cool breeze and there is a light ripple on the lake down by our dock. I have really felt God working on my heart the last couple days. How we struggle with surrendering our lives to the Lord. How often we complain about what we don’t have, and whine about what we think we should have. How quickly we want to turn the current page and read the next chapter. Despite these tendencies, I’m finding more and more that God isn’t found in the huge drama or in the surprise endings, but in the suspense and uneasiness of the page turn itself. I’ve had a lot of questions about my own faith recently, and I’ve seriously struggled with the reality that God loves me and is truly at the back of this thread cacophony, weaving together a beautiful colorful work of art.
We have to remember that God is not only an artist, but a skilled writer weaving our multiple unseemingly disconnected stories into a triumphant and breath-taking ending. He is constantly working and intersecting our lives, whether we are aware of it or not. The search for a mate can be overwhelming and discouraging (and probably potentially insignificant in the light of eternity), but His plans are not our own. We never know what a day may bring. We serve a God full of surprises. You may consider your singlehood fate, but chemistry and the will of God are not always predictable. As the ad says, “Life comes at you fast.” One average morning, cupid may find you startled with shattered beakers of scepticism on the floor, and a heart shaped scalpel in your rear end.”
I’m not sure what God is going to do next. Right now, Crystal and I feel exhausted. Money is tight and our schedule is wearing us thin. We keep waiting for a positive change, but as hard as we try, we can’t find a way to get out of our current situation. Nevertheless, we are trying to focus our eyes on the Lord. We know He can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. We continue to pray and hope. Someday, we may look back and see how these uncomfortable days were preparing us for a miracle. For the moment, we are asking the Lord for His perspective and we are trying to count our many blessings.
