I am amazed and thankful as I look back over the last week. On Tuesday, we welcomed our precious daughter Hannah into the world. Crystal and I faced many fears as we anticipated the day of Hannah’s birth, especially as our son Joshua (who is now three) was taken from us in the delivery room and was rushed to Children’s Hospital where he spent eight days fighting for his life.
For those who have not heard the story, Crystal’s placenta abrupted during Joshua’s birth and Joshua was ripped from the womb as he was quickly losing blood and oxygen. He underwent two blood transfusions, had two MRIs, was strapped to a cooling blanket for eight days and was connected to an EEG to monitor for potential seizures.
I can’t forget that first day I visited Joshua alone at Children’s Hospital. I remember watching his little arms and legs shiver as he lay on the cooling blanket. The sound of his helpless, whimpering cry is forever etched in my mind. I just wanted to pick him up, hold him close and comfort him, but I wasn’t allowed to remove him from the miniature hospital table. Meanwhile, Crystal was forced to stay at St. Ann’s for forty-eight hours and wasn’t allowed to see her own son.
Over the next week, we visited Joshua every day - we knew God was in control, but we also felt completely helpless. I remember whispering to Joshua, “Keep fighting, buddy. You’re going to make it. God is going to help you through this. We love you little man.” Incredibly, Joshua was released a day before Easter of 2012 and as we celebrated the resurrection of our Savior, we thanked Him for resurrecting our son. Today, Joshua is a little miracle - healthy, quirky, energetic and beyond his years.
Reliving a Nightmare
As we look back, Joshua’s birth seems like a distant bad dream - vivid, yet surreal. However, this past Tuesday, one step into the delivery room awoke memories and emotions that we had buried for years. I’ve been married to Crystal for nearly seven years and I’ve never seen her as afraid as she was this past Tuesday. I kept telling her, “It’s not going to happen again. It rarely happens twice, and God is in control. He will not give you something you can’t handle.”
Within three and a half hours, we were holding our little girl. In fact, Hannah came into this world as Crystal was laughing. I don’t think it is a coincidence that Hannah’s name means “favor” and “grace.” Like so many times in our lives, we have once again felt God’s fatherly favor and His immeasurable grace.
There have been moments in my life when it feels like only a few things really matter - times when day-to-day seemingly pressing concerns blur into the unnoticed peripheral of importance. This week, I have watched Joshua kiss and comfort his little sister. I have watched my amazing wife care for our children. I have stopped to admire the setting sun as my son laughs while swinging at the playground. I have witnessed God’s love poured out through friends and family - visits while we were at the hospital, delicious meals brought to our home, kind words reminding us that we are being prayed for.
The New Normal: From Three to Four
Life is definitely different now. We are taking it a day at a time. Crystal is dealing with some nasty headaches (possibly spinal headaches) and nursing brings its own set of challenges. In addition, Hannah still has her nights and days mixed up, but we are hoping this will change soon. Nevertheless, we are grateful and realize that this stage is temporary.
In conclusion, I just want to thank God for His goodness and I want to thank Him for reminding me of what is most important. I have always been a doer and I don’t like sitting idle for very long. I will always have songs to finish, concerts to schedule, a new week of work to anticipate. However, these moments with my children and my wife are precious beyond comparison. I am reminded that above everything, people are what matter the most.
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