Singlehood in the Rear View: Chapter 1

Well, the days are winding down and we’re getting closer and closer to the wedding! Crystal and I are anxiously awaiting our new life together! Over the last couple months or so, it’s been both fun and interesting sharing our news with friends and family. Although the majority of comments we’ve heard are quite positive, below are some real shockers we’ve heard from Christians, many of which are currently in Christian marriages.

“Another one bites the dust.”

“Should we tell her she’s a fool?” (for getting married)

“May God bless you in this time of bliss and even when all that wears off.”

"You're getting married? You poor man."

“My advice about marriage - don’t.”

Three ladies in an office at my work were sitting around talking.
“We heard you got engaged, we were just complaining about spouses.”
To which I responded , “I never plan to complain about my spouse in front of other people.”
One of the ladies replied, “Hopefully, you won’t need to complain in front of other people and hopefully she won’t either.”

Here’s the worst one of all I think.
“ It’s a conspiracy among married guys to get you to join in their pain. We say marriage is great, and make sure our wives are listening.”

Should It Be A Laughing Matter?
Wow. As a soon-to-be married couple, we both look at the comments above and have to wonder why some Christian husbands and wives are so negative towards the institution of marriage, even if in a joking manner. As a further example, here are excerpts from the acts of some popular Christian comedians.

“I just recently had my 13 year performance review. On overall companionship, I got a 7... out of 100. On listening, I got a 0. My attitude during Thanksgiving... 0. Choosing the parking space that she would have chosen... -0. You should see my performance objectives. Stuff like (I) will try next year not to do everything wrong... Thanks honey, you had me at idiot.”

“I think this is when we learn who’s really in control. We do anything they tell us.” (a man talking about life after his engagement)

“Sometimes my wife lets me hold her purse. That’s the closest I get to my money.”

A single comedian talking to one of his married guy friends.
"We're all going bowling. You wanna go?" He's like, "I can't." I'm like, "Why Not?" "It's my finger." "What happened to your finger?" "It's got a ring on it. I can't do anything now."

“He’s laughing at you because he’s a puppet.” (the comedian talking to his puppet, and referring to someone in the audience)
The puppet responds,“He’s married. He knows what it’s like.”

I’m sure someone is going to comment that I should lighten up, but I will argue that many truths are spoken in jest. These folks may be joking, but in any case, they are painting a pretty dismal picture of matrimony. Here are some additional complains I’ve heard from yes, Christians.

A conversation I had in the restroom with a couple married Christian men -
One guy exclaimed, “He hasn’t been out of debt yet - that’s what happens when you get married.”
As I stood at the urinal, I said to another guy beside me - “it’s good to manage your money” to which he replied, “you’ve got to learn to manage your wife’s money.”

As some friends and I sat around the lunch table, one Christian guy was griping about his wife and about how “He never gets any.”

No One Likes A Tongue Exam
I’m not an expert here, but I’m thinking one or both parties in the above marriages is not particularly in tune with the Holy Spirit. There has to be some selfishness on one or both sides. I just think it’s so sad how, of all people, Christians can be very degrading towards their spouses as the unbelieving world watches and wonders why (A) anyone would want to be a Christian and (B) why anyone would desire to be married, if marriage, even Christian marriage, is so terrible. Of course, there is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect people, and yes, marriage takes work, but as an exhortment to those who like to bad mouth their spouses, take this to heart. Others are listening. Your testimony is on the line. What you say about your spouse says a lot about your own attitude and maturity. Ouch.

On The Brighter Side
In light of all this, we are so glad to have some really Godly couples who we look up to... relationships which model Christlike love, forgiveness, and selflessness. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to those of you who have modeled Jesus in your union, and have swum upstream in a world set on spoiling the beauty and sacredness of marriage.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." I Cor 13:4-7

“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” James 3:5-12

To read chapter 2 of Singlehood in the Rear View, click here.