The Gathering of Armies

Today, I'm exhausted and my own weakness seems to be gleaming under a spotlight. I can't really put a finger on it, but I feel God tugging at my heart to re-surrender my will to Him. This afternoon, we watched "Facing the Giants" at work, and although it had its cheesy moments, I sensed God using the movie to remind me to press on in my Christian walk and in the pursuit of holiness. Just as David cried out to His Heavenly Father to defeat the armies gathered against him, so I cry out to my Lord to silence the voices of insecurities around me, and to defeat the demons conspiring against my soul and against my reliance upon my Rock and Salvation.

Lord, I humble myself before you today. I don't know how to live this Christian life. I again feel like an infant coughing and discovering its first breath. I don't understand what it means to truly be selfless, and I feel unworthy to receive the blessings you have poured into my life. As I look towards marriage and as I imagine the responsibilities of being a leader and a husband, my own insufficiencies are exposed like no other time in my life, and I am brought to my knees in realization that no good thing lies within me. Father, I need Your strength. Even the heartbeat within me is a gift from You. I admit that I have forgotten You. I lay my life, my dreams, and my pursuits before You and ask that You will take this mess and make something beautiful for Your Glory. Today, may my meditations and actions honor Your name. Amen.