Progress of the Album: Emotions (Chapter 7)

I spent about two years writing and recording my last rock album Backstage Pass – a long and challenging process which included a number of emotional highs and lows. Some of you understand the artistic temperament. If you’re an artist, you know what it’s like struggling to come up with ideas. You can relate to the feelings of excitement and let down which accompany the road of creation. One moment you’re pumped about a new song you’ve written and the next minute, you’re discouraged when you play the song for someone else and don’t get the reaction you’re looking for. You know what it’s like to compare yourself to others, all the while wishing you were better at singing or playing your instrument. If you’re an artist, you’re familiar with the vulnerability that comes with releasing your baby to the public. Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Waiting for the Rain
Personally, I underwent a creative drought between the years of 2004 and 2009. For five years, I attempted to write songs, but nothing came to me… or at least nothing I was proud of. I’m still not sure why I had so much trouble writing songs for such an extended period of time. I can only guess. I’m thinking initially it had to do with the fact that I wasn’t motivated to produce another album. I really began to feel that God wanted me to step away from music, mainly because it seemed that everything I was trying was failing, and I just didn’t sense God’s blessing on what I was doing musically. I basically threw in the towel for about a year or so starting in 2005. Then towards the end of 2005, I started trying to write again, although I was more or less journaling about what I was going to write, without ever actually penning any songs that represented what I was hoping to output. Here is an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote in late 2005.

“Right now, I am wrestling with a lot of emotions...fear, doubt, cynicism, confusion. There are days when I wake up and wonder what I’ve done with my life, if anything. As a 30-year old, I’ve begun to feel that I am “outdated”...maybe even “lost”...wandering the wilderness of singlehood, not knowing where I am to turn. If there were one thing I wish I had right now, it would be hope. Hope that God still has great things in store for me. Hope that I am making a difference in the lives of those around me. Hope that I will not grow more and more cynical and withdrawn as years pass. Hope that I can find intimacy in friendships, or even a lifelong mate. Hope that I can truly open up and be accepted for who I really am inside. Hope that I can overcome the evil one and the sin in my life with the strength of Christ. Hope that I can actually make friends and keep them...hope that they will stick with me even when I am unlovable. Hope that I will find a mentor and/or partner who will be a musical sounding board, and will push me to be a better musician/writer/performer and hopefully, a better man of faith. It’s interesting how hope is the one thing which combats so many of the emotions I face these days…

…I think I’ve been brought up in an environment that tells me to make myself as presentable as possible. I don’t think you can really appreciate the beauty of life until you come to grips with how evil man is, how dangerous the world is, and how loving God is.

…My point is I want to write from an adult’s perspective...I may be finished with writing cute songs. If anything, I feel that this project needs to be more transparent and more penetrating emotionally. I don’t want to limit my wording to a particular audience necessarily and I don’t want to over analyze my approach. In the end, I want to write what I know and what I feel honestly, from the heart, from the spirit...without the limitations of what “Christian music is supposed to look like.” My faith and my wrestling’s, and the Word of God will be the guide, not the expectations of others.” – written 12/26/05

As I look back, I can see how God was stretching and building my faith. Those years of drought were actually years I wouldn’t dare trade. I learned a lot of life lessons through those low points that transcended my musical journey. I believe the Lord brought me through a number of doubts and trials so that I could encourage others that may be going through some of the same things I’ve been through. No, I’m not single anymore, but I distinctly remember how difficult it was wondering if I would ever find my soul mate. No, I wouldn’t consider myself depressed now, but I’ve been depressed in the past, and I’ve learned that the voices in my head are not always necessarily speaking God’s truth. Regardless, even now as I work on this new project, I have to be careful to stay balanced emotionally. It’s been incredible this time around to share the creative process with my wonderful wife Crystal. She has been such a great support and encouragement, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t have started this project if it weren’t for her pushing me to do it. The simple words “you can” from someone you love can make all the difference.

Your Feelings are Your Friends
Those of you that know me know I am an analyzer. I probably drive some of you insane, but diversity is what makes the world go around, right? For me, the writing process is like nothing else I have experienced. Why? It demands that I dig deep inside my heart to see what I’m really feeling and what really matters to me. Any other time, it’s easier to ignore your feelings, but when it’s time to write, you have to look those feelings right in the face because for once, whether good or bad, they are your friends. Those feelings are the parents of your newborn songs.

For me, clarifying and filtering my feelings can be an extremely difficult task. It’s one thing to feel something. It’s another thing to communicate those feelings to others in a constructive way. If I straight out told you I was sad, you might not care (just for the record, I’m not sad… I’m just using this as an example). However, you might stop and listen if I wrote a song that made you sad, or embodied your own sadness. All this to say… song writing pushes me to a new level of analyzing. I never throw a song together… every lyric has been stewing for months in a creative crock-pot.

Two is Better Than One
Being married has been awesome… on many levels… even creatively. For one, I have a Godly wife who is extremely supportive, but along with this, Crystal has taught me a lot about balance. I used to write and record whenever I wanted to, but now I need to (and want to) think about what is best for my wife. Usually, we have one day and one evening during the week which are set apart as “music times.” Having a schedule like this has caused me to be both more intentional (setting musical goals for each week) and more balanced (as I’m usually not working on music every single evening and weekend). Even years ago, I began to realize the importance of taking breaks. Good songs come through life experiences, and many of the most life building experiences happen outside of the studio. In other words, it’s important for the artist to get outside, smell the roses, play a game, take a trip… whatever it takes to keep his/her life in balance so that his/her purpose of helping others through music isn’t snuffed out because he/she is never engaging in the lives of others.

The Mental War Zone
I recently spoke with a writer friend who said he also had to “battle many voices inside his head,” especially throughout the creative processes of writing his books. I think it’s probably a common thing for artists (and even non-artists) to wrestle with thoughts of self-criticism and doubt. Here are some lessons I’ve learned (and continue to learn) which have helped me to maneuver the landmines of the artistic mind’s warzone.

First, you can’t live your life trying to please everybody. Some people won’t like you and/or your art no matter what you do or change. As the old Steven Curtis Chapman song says, “You’ve Gotta B True.” I believe the best and most powerful art happens when we’re willing to be ourselves. Second, as important as it can be to analyze, don’t think yourself to death. We can be our worst enemies by thinking ourselves into a corner of self-paralysis (analysis of paralysis, as the saying goes). Think constructive thoughts, not destructive ones. Third, realize that your art is not nearly as important to others as it is to you… and be ok with that. As an example, moviemakers spend years and millions of dollars making a movie that people (usually) watch one time for two hours. After the movie is over, the audience is on to something else. So it goes with music. Some people may play your CD over and over, but they’ll never play it as many times as you’ve played it trying to get everything just right. For you, your music may be your life, but for most people, your music is entertainment, a point of interest that often turns as quickly as the turn sty of a box office hit. That can be a tough one to stomach. Forth, and this is critical… though art may be an extension of you, it is not what makes you who you are. In other words, you as a person have much more value than your art. As Christians, we need to be confident in who we are in Christ. That’s where our real value lies.

The Best I Have To Offer
I like how one artist put it at the release of his new album… “This is the best I have to offer right now.” It’s important to see the creative process as a journey. We’re all on the road to becoming better, and no one project is going to completely sum up what we want to say or where God is ultimately taking us.

Up Next… “Meet the Musicians: The Team Behind The New Album”

Progress of the Album: DarkHorse (Chapter 6)

Tentatively, I’ll be recording drums and bass at DarkHorse Recording in Nashville, Tennessee this coming June (this is where Dave Bechtel and I recorded much of my last rock album Backstage Pass in 2003-2004). However, a number of things need to happen before I move to this next stage in the production process.

Financial Planning
First, I need to save enough money to pay for the trip. I’ve actually built some buffer time into the production schedule so that I can focus a couple months on doing side jobs to fund the recording sessions (If you or someone you know is in need of audio/music work, please let me know! This is how I am mostly funding this project – with side jobs). I’ve decided to approach this project in stages both for production and financial purposes. Production wise, the audio editing process is going to be easier if I first record and edit the drums and bass (I find it's trickier to edit a lot of instruments together. The guitars, strings, and other live instruments are easier to edit if they have been recorded to a solid drums and bass track). Also, financially, it only makes sense to divide the recording process into several Nashville trips, specifically over 5-6 months. (The cost of food and gas with multiple trips is minor compared to the accumulating recording costs). I will probably take two additional trips to Nashville in the late summer or fall – one for strings and guitar overdubs, and a final trip for mastering. I’m praying God will provide the money somehow in His time and in His way.

Chord Charts & Sheet Music
Throughout the last eight months of writing songs and creating demos, I’ve also compiled chord charts for each of the 13 songs on the album. For now, these charts function to help me remember what chords go where as I arrange the demos. However, before I go to Nashville in June, I will need to write out basic sheet music that notates where the chord changes happen, and I’ll also need to identify any specific drum and bass licks. Certain instructions may include “bass with overdrive” or “kick on all four” or “use toms instead of high hat.” In addition, all of the chord changes need to be notated in the Nashville Notation System, which substitutes numbers for chords. For example, a G in the key of G would be written as a “1” and an E minor in the key of G would be written as “6-“ (as E minor is the 6 chord in the key of G, with the “-“ symbolizing a minor chord). Nashville studio musicians use this system as it simplifies songs to a basic structure, allowing for faster sight-reading and on-the-fly key changes.

Moving to Pro Tools
I generally use Apple’s Logic Pro for music creation and recording (that’s what I’ve used for years, and what I’ve used to create all the MIDI demos for this project). However, in Nashville, we will be recording using DigiDesign’s Pro Tools. This means I will need to prepare in advance a basic Pro Tools session for each song (and will need to transfer some audio elements over from my Logic demo sessions). What audio elements will be included in these Pro Tools sessions? First, each song will have a click track, which will assist the drummer and bassist in keeping with the tempo of the song (even if there is a retard in the song). Second, for each tune, there will be a mix of all the fake instruments minus the fake drums & bass. This will allow the drummer & bassist to play along with the demos and simply replace the fake drums & bass. There will also be several other audio tracks, including the lead vocal, and another track for the background vocals. These elements will be separated, allowing the volume of the vocals to be boosted or lowered depending on the needs of each player (they will each be wearing headphones, and will be able to make various volume adjustments to their liking).

Up next… “The emotional side of recording.”

(Pictured is DarkHorse Recording in Nashville. This photo was taken in 2004 during the recording of Backstage Pass. For more info on DarkHorse Recording, visit: http://www.darkhorserecording.com)

Check out my 2004 album Backstage Pass on iTunes.

The Progress of the Album: The Sound (Chapter 5)

I’ve had a few people ask me, “What is this new album about?” and “What will it sound like?” I’d be glad to answer these questions, but I’m going to speak broadly as I don’t want to completely spoil the surprise.

The Lyrics
First, I’ll begin by saying this is not a rap album. It is instead a modern rock album which springboards off of my last project Backstage Pass, yet delves into some heavier topics, including depression, addiction, self-esteem, troubled relationships, and a variety of other tough subjects. The 13-song album is filled with stories of struggle (many of which are struggles I’ve observed in the lives of others, and some of which are struggles I’ve dealt with in my own life). Amid these candid stories of struggle is an overarching purpose of pointing the listener to the purpose and hope we can only find in Christ. However, this doesn’t mean every song ends happily. Some songs end with resolve, while others end with some tension (as is common to the Christian experience). Scripturally, the album draws a lot from the books of Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes (but there is some New Testament inspiration as well). I guess you could say this project offers hope while remaining honest about the tensions of life.

The Music
The overall sound of the album will be a good bit darker and at times heavier than Backstage Pass, and instrumentally, it will rely even more upon the piano. Some musical influences include The Fray, ColdPlay, Daughtry, Switchfoot, Muse, Keane, U2, and RadioHead, to name a few. In addition to piano, you will hear plenty of drums, guitars, strings, and synths. I will also be using a different set of musicians for this project which will help to vary the sound a bit.

More To Come
I plan to release the title of the album in the next several months, and will also share some lyrical and musical clips as we get closer to the release date (early 2011). In the meantime, keep checking the blog for new entries, not to mention photos and videos (including some from our first Nashville trip, tentatively in June).

Thanks for following along!

Up next… “Preparing for the first Nashville session.”

The Progress of the Album: Vocals (Ch. 4)

Unlike Backstage Pass, I am tracking all of my vocals at 10x12 Productions (in Columbus) instead of in Nashville. For those who don’t know, much of Backstage Pass, including the vocals, were recorded at DarkHorse Recording in Nashville. Why would I track vocals at home when I could record at a beautiful Nashville studio? First, it’s free to record at home. Second, there is no hourly rate to worry about. I can do as many takes as I’d like and I don’t have to look at the clock (unless it’s time for dinner). Third, I can arguably get the same quality of sound at home as I might get in some Nashville studios. Forth, I just feel more comfortable and at home… well, at home.

The Signal Chain
As far as signal path goes, I am using a Shure SM7 mic in conjunction with an API A2D pre-amp. The API output is running digitally into a MOTU UltraLite and from there, the signal travels through FireWire into Logic Pro (which is running on a 2.4 GHz iMac). I’m recording everything at a resolution of 24 bit, 48 KHz. I’m also using a number of sound panels in the studio, which help to mute the reflections in the room (sound reflections).

Background Vocals
I’m also doing something slightly different this time around in that I am recording all the background vocals as I assemble the MIDI demos. With Backstage Pass, I only recorded scratch lead vocals with the demos (no background vocals). I didn’t get around to recording background vocals until after I had recorded all the live instruments in Nashville (and I actually tracked many of the background vocals at home, although I really didn’t have the gear to do it right at that time). In fact, it’s possible I may even keep some or many of the background vocals and lead vocals I am currently recording, and you will hear them on the finished album. We’ll see once all the real instruments are recorded. The live instruments (starting with real drums and bass this summer) may add a new level of energy that may cause me to re-think some of my lead and even background vocals. We’ll see. If anything, I am working now to nail down all the vocal arrangements before we head to Nashville. Why go through all this trouble at this early stage? My reasoning is that these vocals will ultimately affect what the live musicians play or don’t play. I want to leave space for background vocals (they are a crucial part of many of the songs), so I’m arranging and recording them before we add any real instruments.

The Best Way To Sing a Song
Every song is unique. Some songs call for a lot of background vocals. Some don’t. I’m currently working on one tune where I’ve stacked my own voice about 40 times. Some other tunes on the project have no background vocals, or maybe one simple harmony. In addition to the background vocals, the sound of the lead vocal may vary quite a bit as well. Recording these demos has really helped me in discovering and shaping the vocal sound for each song. This may include adjustments to phrasing (where to breathe) and tone. One song may contain a lot of falsetto. Another may call for a whisper, while another may be in need of a more aggressive sound. During the process of creating these demos, I’ve even had to change the key of the song to better fit my vocal range. Actually, there are probably 3-4 songs that are now a ½ step or a whole step above the original piano and vocal demo. They are now much more comfortable to sing.

Vocal Continuity
Even with scratch (potentially temporary) vocals, I try to only record 1-3 takes of the lead vocal. I find that usually I lose the flow and believability of the vocal if I piece it together with too many small “best takes.” Generally, I’ll record the entire vocal of a song 1-3 times and pick the best take, and then I may record a couple additional takes of any trouble spots, but I try to keep this to a minimum. If I can’t sing something well within 1-3 takes, I’d better alter the melody and/or lyrics to better fit my voice.

Up Next… “What is this new album about and what will it sound like?”

Progress of the Album – Demos (Ch. 3)

Why a Demo?
Every musician is going to have a different definition of the word “demo.” For some, a demo is nothing more than a scratchy cassette recording of their vocal and a guitar. Ultimately, one has to decide what the purpose of a demo is, and construct the demo with that purpose in mind. Sometimes, a demo is simply the initial capturing of a song’s melody and chord structure, and is used only to help the songwriter remember the basics of a song before it is fully committed to memory. At times, a songwriter may record a demo with hopes of sending that recording to a professional, possibly a producer or even a record company’s A&R rep. Depending on the purpose of the demo, a musician may keep the recording as raw as possible, or may work to make the demo a bit more polished.

Each of the 13 songs on this new album started with a very raw vocal & piano mp3 recording. Starting last August, I began using a Tascam DR-07 recorder to capture all of my song ideas. Along the way, these recordings have been transferred to my laptop and have been sorted into folders depending on what song each recording belongs to. Some of the recordings are only small sections of songs (for example, the chorus only when I was first writing the chorus melody) while other recordings are of full-length songs (piano & vocal only). For each song, I may have recorded anywhere from 25 to 100 mini demos, each a progressive snapshot of what each song would eventually become.

Back to the Drawing Board
Generally, after a piano and vocal demo was complete, I would email it to my friend Dave Bechtel (who is helping to co-produce the album) just to get a second educated opinion. His input has been extremely helpful. Often, he really liked the songs I sent him. However, from time to time, he would give me suggestions of how I could make a song better. There were even times when a song was completely shot down as it didn’t fit with the overall feel of the album, or was weak thematically or melodically. I’ve really appreciated Dave’s honest feedback as it has only helped me to improve.

The Elaborated Demo
For this album, I’ve taken demo creation to an extreme. The above-mentioned piano and vocal recordings were only the first stage of a much more involved process. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I am now working to develop full MIDI mock-ups of each song. The reason? I want to go into the Nashville recording studio as prepared as possible. Every minute costs (literally) when you are working with studio players, and it should save me a lot of time and money if I step into the studio with a solid plan of what I want each song to sound like. This doesn’t mean I won’t be open to new ideas that arise in the studio, but I want to at least walk in the door with a good blueprint of each tune.

Assembling a MIDI Mock-Up
Here is how I go about making a MIDI demo. After opening a new session in Logic Pro, I begin by selecting a tempo and a time signature (if the song is not in standard 4/4) and then I play in the piano part of the song (remember this is MIDI, so no audio is being recorded, only MIDI data) using my 88-key controller. Next, I add markers for each section of the song (verse 1, pre-chorus 1, chorus, turn-around 1, etc.). These markers assist me later in jumping quickly to any portion of the song.

Usually, after I set up the song session (tempo, time signature, markers) and record the piano part (via MIDI), I add a drum pattern. I have a smaller MIDI controller that I use to trigger everything but piano, including the drums (this smaller controller has un-weighted keys, which makes it easier to play organs, drums, etc.). Often, I begin by adding a 2-bar drum loop that I repeat throughout the entire song (on occasion, I’ll even add this before I play in the piano part), but other times, I will start by playing the drums real time from start to finish. It really depends upon the song. The point is, I usually try to get some drum pattern established at least right after I record the piano part (or sometimes before). I usually try to pick a drum patch that is appropriate for the song. For example, a slower heavier song may call for a deep kick drum, a meaty snare, and heavy high hats while a faster pop song may demand a snappier kick and snare, and small high hats. These choices should later direct the real drummer as he adjusts his drum kit(s) to fit each particular song. I also may add electronic drums behind the “real” drums for additional rhythm texture.

Generally, the second instrument I record is bass. Hearing the drums, bass, and piano together helps me to visualize the overall groove of the song. It’s important to note that everything I record initially is a very rough pass. This means there may be wrong notes here and there, but the goal is to simply get all the colors on the page, in the same way a painter may start a masterpiece out by selecting his color palette. Typically, I will later go back and re-record most of the instruments (or correct wrong notes as needed).

From here on out, the order of instruments may vary a lot, but often, I will start adding guitars after I have recorded piano, drums, and bass. The question I subconsciously ask myself is, “What instruments make this song come alive or set it apart from other songs?” These are the instruments I usually add immediately after the rhythm foundation (meaning piano, drums, and bass). If a song is going to be very ambient, I may next add some synth pads to give the song an ethereal feel. If the song is going be carried by strings, I will record a rough string pass just to get the mood in the right ballpark. If the mood is ethnic, I may add a Japanese flute or a sitar. If the mood is to be grand, I may add some large taiko drums or timpani.

Up next… Demos P2: recording vocals and background vocals.

The Progress of the Album - Songwriting (Ch. 2)

I’m not one to write songs anywhere or anytime. In fact, there are some days when I just don’t want to write, usually because I have nothing to say or I’m just too tired or emotionally worn. Those are the days when I’d rather go to the pool or watch a mindless movie. However, there are days and nights when I am really inspired. I may be inspired by a powerful church message, a passage of Scripture, or more often than not, a personal frustration that is begging to get out constructively. On the other hand, there are those times when I’ll write a song out of the blue, without any premeditation. At times, an innocent tinkering at the piano may unexpectedly grow into an album-worthy song. With every song, I try to write about something that I am passionate about (and something which others can relate to). For example, a song about my struggle with being an introvert may not go as far as a song that deals with a broken relationship.

I would say most of the songs for this new album have been written in the middle of the night in my home studio. It is not my general practice to stay up all night, but from time to time, I can’t sleep because I’m creatively wound up, and just need to get it down on paper (or computer). I prefer to write lyrics using Microsoft Word (for Mac), as it’s easier to cut and move phrases around on the computer compared to editing lyrics which have been written by hand on a notepad. I usually prefer to be sitting by a keyboard (or piano), as I tend to work on the melody, chords, and lyrics at the same time.

Chorus & Verses
I generally aim to write the chorus of a song first, as it is the most crucial and the part that most people usually remember and sing in the shower, or on the way to work. Most often, I’ll start with a general topic and a title (or working title, basically a place holder for the eventual title). I’ll then try out various melodies while experimenting with chords and rhythms on the piano. During this process, I always do my best to make sure the melody, chord progression, and tempo is varied from other songs I’ve written.

After I land a good chorus melody and a few words or phrases that seem to reflect the feeling of the song, I enter the lyrical brainstorming process. As I brainstorm, I write down anything that comes to mind… descriptive words that fit the topic at hand, phrases that help to communicate the feeling of the song, even verses which seem to embody the message. As I write down these words and phrases, I likewise write down any rhyming words, whether they are related or not. This helps to give me some ammo when I later attempt to assemble phrases into rhyming lines.

Sometimes, I write a chorus in a half hour. Other times, I may piece a chorus together over a couple weeks, or even months. However, usually, I’ll come up with a chorus over a couple days. Once I am happy with the chorus, I begin to write verses. I almost always find that the first couple lines of the verse are the most difficult to write as they are what ultimately establish the overall feel and rhythm of the rest of the verses. They also play a key part in grabbing the listener from the top of the song. I really struggle with making verses distinct and catchy. It’s tricky as you want the verses to be strong and unique, but they can’t overpower the chorus. The chorus has to be the top of the rollercoaster. Often for me, the second verse is much easier to write compared to the first verse as the second verse usually plays off of or contrasts the first verse (and the feel of the verses has already been established).

The Bridge
Usually, after the chorus and verse have been written, I tackle the bridge (if the song calls for a bridge). The bridge can do a lot of things. It can further reveal what the song is about (similar to the explaining of a parable). It can change the perspective or direction of the song (like a surprise scene in a movie where the true plot is revealed). Sometimes, it simply works as an alternate chorus (it says the same thing, but just takes the theme from a different angle). Musically, the bridge may sometimes transition the song into a new key. Occasionally, the bridge is instrumental and is an easy way to turn a 2.5-minute song into a 3-minute song. I find that bridges are usually easier to write than choruses or verses. However, there have been times when it’s taken me several weeks to write a decent bridge.

A Relationship of Songs
Typically, I have no idea what the overall theme of an album will be when I write that first several songs for the album. However, there comes a point (maybe after I’ve written 5-6 songs) where the songs begin to fit together (hopefully). As I get further into writing an album, I sometimes discover the need to write connecting songs or contrasting songs. A connecting song may serve to bridge two completely unrelated songs together, while a contrasting song may give some variety when variety is needed (for example, a faster positive song after several darker slower songs). Just as there are various scenes in a movie (a quieter and slower moment after a chase sequence, or a heartwarming family moment before the aliens take over the earth), albums need to have variety to keep the listener engaged and emotionally balanced.

It’s Fun (But It’s Still Work)
Song Writing is usually never easy. Sometimes, one can forget about that fact when one has been away from song writing for a while. Rarely does a complete album-worthy song fall from the sky (although there have been occasions when I’ve written an entire song within an hour or two, and it turns out to be one of my strongest, but that is rare). I find that some songs do come more naturally and quickly, while others develop over time. Most often, I find that relationship songs are the most challenging to write, and typically, those are the ones that take longer to evolve. I may compose an entire song rather quickly, yet may find that it takes several months to nail down one or two questionable words and phrases. I’ve heard it said that every word in a song should count. Just as scenes are deleted in movies, lines that add nothing to a song should be eliminated.

Up Next… “What Goes Into Making a Demo?”

The Progress of the Album: Planning (Ch. 1)

It’s been a busy last 4-5 months at 10x12 Productions. I’ve pretty much been spending all my “small business” time working on the new rock album. The songs were all written between August and November of last year, and I’ve been spending the last three months or so programming MIDI “sketches” of the twelve new songs. Many of the instruments on these demos are simply placeholders. Fake drums, bass, and guitars will all be replaced with real instruments, and sampled strings will be layered with real cello, viola, and violin. Along with arranging instruments, I’ve been recording many of the lead and background vocals, some of which will be replaced down the road, while some will end up on the finished product. These MIDI renderings will really help to speed up the recording process and will help the real musicians to see more clearly what tones, etc. I’m looking for.

Drums & Bass
This time around, I’m approaching the production process slightly differently by dividing it into 3-4 phases. On “Backstage Pass,” the majority of the live instruments were recorded on one expensive day (drums, bass, guitars, piano, organ, and strings), and then we added vocals and guitar overdubs here and there over the following months (mostly in Nashville). On this project, I’m going to begin by only tracking real drums and bass (we’ll call this Phase 1). We’re hoping to do this in Nashville in later spring/early summer. I will then bring these files back to Columbus and spend a month or so editing them. To this date, I’ve been using Logic Pro to create all MIDI arrangements, but I will need to move to Pro Tools to edit the drums (using Beat Detective) as Logic Pro doesn’t have a good multi-channel audio editor. The majority of the drums you have heard on the radio have probably been edited using Pro Tool’s Beat Detective software. I currently don’t own Pro Tools, so this stage will require one more expense.

Guitars
After the drums and bass have been edited, I will return to Nashville to record guitars (I’m calling this Phase 2). It’s also possible I may record some additional guitars here in Columbus, but we’ll have to see. (Currently, I’m using EastWest PLAY’s Ministry of Rock and Fab Four along with Native Instrument’s Guitar Rig 4 to simulate the guitars I’d like to hear on the final recordings.) After this trip, I will again return to Columbus and spend a couple weeks to a month editing the guitars, although they should require less editing then the drums and bass. I’ve found that the best way to edit live songs is to start with the drums, and once they are solid rhythmically, everything tends to fall into a place a little easier (pending that you have good players, which we will).

Piano & Organ
Somewhere, along the way, I’ll record live piano. There are a couple options I am juggling. One is send the piano MIDI files to a guy in Nashville who has a player piano that will play back any MIDI files you put into it. That way, I can play the songs at home, but can achieve a real piano sound. I may possibly use a software organ as the quality is so convincing with today’s technology. I’m considering having a good friend of mine cover the organ parts. He is a much better organ player than I.

Strings
We will probably return to Nashville a third time (Phase 3) to record live strings (although it’s possible we may group the guitar sessions & string sessions into a two-day trip to save money.) We will probably only record a string quartet (cello, viola, 2 violins) and we’ll layer multiple takes and then stack these audio files on top of sample strings. This is a very convincing and cost effective way of achieving a big orchestra sound. I have some friends who are helping to arrange string parts.

Vocals
As mentioned before, I’m recording all the vocals at 10x12 Productions in Columbus. This is very convenient and cost effective.

Mixing & Mastering
The album will most likely be mixed here in Columbus, although there’s a possibility it may be mixed in Nashville. I’m still not sure. Nevertheless, I do plan to have the album mastered in Nashville. This mastering trip would be considered Phase 4.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Creative Floodgates

It’s been over five years since my last album Backstage Pass was released. That’s hard to believe. A lot has happened since then. A lot. Most recently, I married my wonderful wife Crystal a little over a year ago, and about six months ago, I shifted to full time ministry after ten long years in the television industry. Wow. It’s amazing what God has done!

I met with a friend for coffee about four months ago and as we shared prayer requests, I went out on a seemingly selfish limb, and asked prayer that God would grant me new songs. From that day forward, it feels like the floodgates of creativity have burst wide open! After years of writing songs that have seemed only fit for the trashcan, the Lord has given me twelve new pieces that I actually really like. It’s been fun to watch them grow from snippets of lyrics and/or melodies to full blown songs.

One of my goals during the writing process was to focus intensely on vocal melody and piano, while leaving all the other “cool sounds” for a later stage. I am now at that next stage. So far, I’ve programmed demos and fleshed out the arrangements for three of the twelve songs on the new album. The hope is to start with sample instruments and slowly replace “fake sounds” with real ones as needed. After I have finished producing twelve demos, my goal is to record live drums and bass in Nashville. I will then record much of the guitars, and all of the vocals in Columbus (at 10x12 Productions). It’s possible we’ll also track live strings somewhere along the way. Not sure where yet. This journey should be a lot of fun!

I’ll keep you posted along the way.

Where Have You Been?

It's been a long time since I've written in the blog. In fact, I've put it on the back burner as I have been working on a new album! I'm currently in the writing stage and almost have 12 new songs composed (lyrics, melody, chord progressions, and general arrangements). My next step is to put the final touches on the lyrics, and start creating some MIDI demos, which will eventually be fleshed out with real instruments. Stay tuned for more updates!

What We've Been Up To

Life has been busy recently. So what have we been doing with our time? Last weekend, we were in Ashland. Not long before that, we were in California. We usually try to get to the gym three nights of the week. Freelance music and audio jobs on Monday or Tuesday evenings. Wednesday night band practices. Thursday night bible study. Weddings occasionally on Saturdays (I run sound). Sunday morning and often evening church. Video shoots at the station throughout the week with early mornings. Meetings at Delaware. Dinner with our family. Social time with our friends. Generally stuff - bill paying, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doctor visits, etc. All this to say, I haven't had much time to write in the blog. I know I promised an entry about our trip to California... that's still on its way.

This Friday is my last day at the tv station. I've worked in television for nearly 10 years, so the move to full time ministry will be a significant, yet exciting change. Much of my focus and energy over the last several months has been in preparation for this transition. We know the Lord will lead us in this next stage of life.

Stay tuned for more blogs...

Pictures from California

Leaving for Laguna Beach!

Tomorrow, Crystal and I will be jumping on a jet plane and heading to Laguna Beach, California to visit my sister (who formally lived in Munich, Germany). On Thursday, we'll be taking a boat to Catalina Island and will spend the day there, possibly renting some bikes to explore the sites. We'll be in California 5 days, and will return next Monday.

We'll take lots of pictures and I'm sure we'll have many stories to tell. Stay tuned!

Day 2 at the Skate Park

Went back to the skate park yesterday and was a little more daring as the concrete was dry this time. Joining me on the ramps this time was a bashful and novice elementary skateboarder, a seven year old scooter dare devil (who was jumping off the highest inclines in the park), and a couple high school scooter/skateboard riders who appeared to be in their own world (as I almost ran into them several times as they weren't paying attention).

Some of you may not know this, but back in my middle school/high school days, I went by the nick name "skater." I would spend entire weekends skating around the neighborhood. I was a serious boarder, for sure. I think I originally started in fifth grade. Both my brother and sister used to skateboard, and my first board was a hand me down from my brother. My first helmet was a football helmet. A blue one with a white stripe. I looked pretty sweet.

Still a Skater at Heart

Well, I finally bought a skateboard, a belated birthday present from last October. This past Saturday, Crystal and I went to a nearby skate park so I could test out my new board in the rain. The tricks I used to do 15 years ago didn't come as easily, that's for sure. I think I'm going to need a lot of practice. Nevertheless, I feel like a kid again and realize just how much I miss skating! Skate or die dudes!!

Singlehood in the Rear View: Chapter 5

The Newlywed Game
Several weeks ago, Crystal and I had the privilege of taking part in a marriage panel at a church youth group. We were among three couples, and happened to be the most recently married. One young couple had been wed six years, and the other "older" couple had been together for some thirty plus years. We were all seated in chairs on stage under bright lights, and a colorfully dressed and animated high school senior with large glasses entertained the crowd with dry wit and a peculiar english accent. He began by sending us men out of the room. While we were gone, he asked the girls questions such as "How does your man like his steak cooked?" and "If your husband was a sea creature, would he be a shark, a clown fish, or a turtle?" After about five minutes, I and the other two guys were called back into the now bated room. With each question, one of the three wives would flip over an 8"x11" card to reveal her answer. Crystal was indeed right in saying I preferred my steak medium well, but she considered me a turtle, while I thought myself a clown fish. I guess we hadn't ever talked about such things.

Well, now it was time for the women to leave the room. The questions for the men were a bit more challenging. I scribbled my best attempts. Before I knew it, the cheesy game show music resumed blaring, and three smiling ladies returned single file to the stage. The music stopped. The first question. "What would your wife say was the first gift she ever gave you?" Uh oh. At least, this time, the other two couples would have to answer first. I was pretty sure I knew this one. I pretended I was interested in what the other couples had to say. Moments later, the witty MC directed the question towards Crystal, "So Crystal, is the answer crystal clear or foggy as a swampland?" He was funny. Crystal looked at me with a smile and a hint of uncertainty. She paused. "A Starbucks gift card and some chocolate chip cookies." Well, I was close. The cookies had chocolate in them. I turned the card over. The audience responded with a pathetic "ouuuch." The couple who had been married thirty plus years had answered correctly. Something about a "hippo." The next question was even better. "My wife has more (blank) than anyone I know." I wrote patience. I knew this was probably not what she was thinking, but I figured a few points for sweetness wouldn't hurt anything. Crystal said clothes. I turned my card over. A unanimous "awwww" spread across the crowd. Sadly, in the end, we lost the game, and the older couple took first place. Oh well. It was still a lot of fun, and we were reminded that we still don't know everything about each other.

All Hormoned Up and No Where To Go
We've all met the guy who's convinced he's God's gift to women. You know, the guy with the smooth words whose radar is aimed right at the pretty girl with the brown hair sitting alone at the table in the corner. Well, maybe we don't know the guy personally, but we've at least seen him on TV or in the movies. He's got the romantic wit, the flowers, the gleam in his eye, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't have a clue of what to do with that pretty girl after he wakes up with her the next morning. As Christians, most of us aren't this shallow, and most of us live our lives on a higher moral plane. However, sometimes I wonder how many dating believers haven't thought past the wedding dress, the flowered altar, and the tropical get away. During the dating days, the focus can be lost in having fun, and during the engagement, so much time and effort can be spent on planning the wedding while little attention is given to the most significant detail, the marriage itself.

Putt-Putt And Ice Cream
How does one prepare for marriage? Is it even possible to be completely ready for something which is so unpredictable and life altering? Having only been married a bit under six months, I am no expert, but I will say this. First of all, pray often and ask for God's guidance. Second, as you date, ask each other questions. Tough questions. I'm amazed by the number of couples who have apparently climbed all the way to "I do" without ever addressing the most basic of marital topics. Am I saying that you skip the putt-putt, the movies, and the ice cream? Absolutely not! I believe it's critical that a couple can laugh and have fun together (you'll need that in your marriage). There's no reason to be serious all the time, and there's no reason to be serious at all if you're fresh into a dating relationship (or if you're in high school, for that matter). What I'm saying is this. If you're engaged or if you're in a relationship which appears to be progressing towards marriage, take the time to talk about uncomfortable issues. I don't necessarily mean politics or religion (although these can be important subjects to address while dating). Instead, talk about your expectations of that other person. Talk about what you think an ideal marriage would look like. Discuss how your relationship with your parents will change after the wedding day. Open up about your own fears, weaknesses, and failures. Why? The reason is this... if these concerns aren't brought up before you get married, they will inevitably come up after you are married, and at that point, it will be too late to turn around if there's something you can't deal with.

Embracing The Hot Seat
One book I would highly recommend is 101 Questions to ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright. Crystal and I went through this before we were married, and are very glad we did. In short, the book is a workbook full of mostly blank pages and lots of questions. One way to approach such a book is to answer the questions individually while later discussing the answers with the other person (that way you really say what you think instead of copying what the other person just said). I don't want to give the book away, but here's a handful of questions contained within.

1. What are five reasons a person would want to spend the rest of their life with you, and 3 reasons they wouldn't.
2. When a person marries, they sever the cord of dependency on and allegiance to their parents. If you marry, which of these will be the most difficult to sever and why?
3. To what degree are you a saver or a spender when it comes to money?
4. How has your relationship with Jesus Christ changed since this current relationship?
5. What are the questions about me you've always wanted to ask but never have?
6. What are your beliefs about p-rnography, and to what degree has this ever been a part of your life? How recently?

Some of these questions may be challenging or even embarrassing to answer, but again, it's important to consider that a strong marriage is built on such virtues as honesty and forgiveness. If you have trouble being candid with each other now, how can you possibly expect to have an open relationship once married? Most married people will tell you that negative traits and tendencies don't generally go away when you are married. Marriage instead usually compounds any issues a person already has. If your man has a drinking problem before marriage, don't expect that habit to evaporate after the honeymoon. If your girlfriend is addicted to credit cards now, don't think for a minute that a ring on her finger will quench her passion for plastic.

Getting To Know You
As you look for a marriage partner, know that whoever you choose, he or she will be imperfect. We all have baggage. We've all done things we're not proud of, and we all have tendencies which we'd rather not showcase. Nevertheless, Christ can forgive, and renew, and transform people. We mustn't forget this. Yet, at the same time, be selective when you date. Don't be a perfectionist, but at the same time, don't be afraid to move on if your spirit is not at rest in a dating relationship (better to get out now before you make a lifelong commitment). As a soon-to-be-married couple, you really should be able to discuss anything (unless talking about a certain issue leads you to sin). There may be a deeper problem if you notice your boyfriend or girlfriend changing the subject every time you bring up a concerning topic, especially if you're narrowing on the road towards matrimony.

When I was single, so much of my time and energy was spent focusing on getting married, even to the point of obsession. Maybe you're there. It's easy to get desperate (believe me, I understand) when you don't think God is listening. It's tempting to lower your standards when you can't believe there's any good options left. Just remember... choosing a mate is a huge decision, and should not be taken lightly. So many dating relationships start with the words, "I'd like to get to know you more." Don't let your marriage relationship end with "I wish I had known more." When dating, get out, have fun, but also make sure you talk. Really talk. Talk with each other, and even above this, talk with the Lord. Find out what He is thinking.

In conclusion, I realize that we can really never know everything about another person. In fact, we can't even know everything about ourselves. However, if we are following the Lord and if our mate (or future mate) is seeking to do the same, we can be reassured that two slightly different compasses will ultimately point towards the same north. Crystal and I are so thankful that God led us to talk about a lot of stuff before we were married. I can say that having those open conversations before marriage really helped in building a strong foundation of trust between us. We still make it a point not to keep secrets from each other (unless it involves a birthday or anniversary), and we try daily to share every concern and every celebration of the heart. It's crucial to see eye-to-eye on key issues, and it's important to at least come to a compromise on the lesser issues... even in such a case that you're convinced you're a clown fish, and she thinks you're a turtle.

To read the The Art of Singlehood (written through many of my single years), click here.

What is Worship?

Anyone who has ever attended church has an opinion about worship. I would guess that a lot of people choose a church based on the style and/or quality of the worship music. I'm curious if you have any thoughts about worship? How would you define worship? Should those involved in the worship team be more focused on having their own individual worship time with the Lord on Sunday morning, or should they be more concerned about where the congregation is at?

Through the years, I would admit that my musical tastes have changed. I still enjoy heavier rock from time to time, although I believe I've mellowed a bit in my thirties. I released a mostly guitar driven rock album in 2004, and in 2009, I'm more prone to write mid tempo alternative and introspective piano pop rock tunes, in the likes of Coldplay, the Fray, or Keane. I bring this up because I believe our own personal tastes greatly influence our view of worship.

Here goes my opinion. I believe that way too many Christians are confused about what worship music is supposed to be. And with this I open a huge can of worms. Worship is simply our position of admitting God's worth. It's us looking up and saying, "Lord, I am nothing... I have nothing to offer you except my heart... You are incredible, You are my Rock, You are my Reason for living." I think a lot of people get worship and adrenaline confused. A thumping beat and a tight band may raise your heart rate and make you feel excited, but does that really mean you're worshipping God?

From time to time, I lead worship at our church or at our Sunday night young adult group. However, most Sundays, I am in the crowd, singing with the masses. Here are a couple of my pet peeves. The guy who keeps doing vocal acrobatics around the melody. Dude, sing an appropriate harmony. You're completely distracting. The sound engineer who thinks the PA should be louder than the audience. If I'm in the crowd and I can't hear myself sing, I might as well be at a rock show waving my cell phone. The worship leader who sings the same chorus 14 times. Can we at least change keys or something? I don't even know what the words I'm singing mean anymore.

Well, maybe you have your own opinions, your own pet peeves. That's what makes this worship thing such a sore subject. We all see worship differently, just as if we all spoke slightly different languages. It's easy to walk away on Sunday morning feeling like you were gypped. We so quickly see the imperfections on stage, and I wonder sometimes if Satan is simply distracting us from the imperfections in our own hearts. If we're honest, most of us spend Sunday morning judging the people around us. Why is she wearing that? Do you have to move around so much on stage? Why do we have to hear about that same missionary guy again? I really don't care. I'm already giving my tithe to the local church fund. If we're honest, those are the types of thoughts that can go through our minds.

I believe worship is an attitude, not a song, or an event. Not sure that I'm a big fan of the song "Come, Now Is The Time To Worship" because if this is the time to worship, what happens before or after the song? The reality is, it's tough to always be thankful. It is stretching to always see ourselves in honest perspective of a perfect and holy God.

This morning, Crystal and I read James 1 which says "Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds..." We really needed to read that. Life has been downright tough for us recently, but both our marriage and trust in God have been strengthened through the unpleasant. It feels like every day, we are waking up to another unanswered question, another deferred hope, another slap in the face... and we wonder how much longer it's going to go on. Maybe you're going through some rough times. My encouragement to you is this. Strive to worship the Lord no matter what. Remember you're in a spiritual battle. The Devil wants to destroy your faith. It's the first thing he thinks about when he crawls out of bed. However, the Lord is more powerful than any circumstance, any doubt, and He is greater, so much greater than the one who wants to take our spiritual lives.

1 John 4:4
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

Rediscovering Our Refuge

At times, I wonder how much pain and grief we'd save ourselves if we didn't worry. This past week, Crystal and I were hit with a substantial health scare. I'll spare you the details, but I'll just say that last Friday, I had an MRI of the brain which did not come back normal. I then had a follow-up MRI this past Wednesday which confirmed that what they had seen was "inactive" and non-threatening (for now) and was probably caused by migraine headaches, which I have rather frequently. We will meet the Neurologist again in a couple weeks to go over the results in more detail, but for now, we are told that everything is ok.

The Great What If
We all have situations in our lives which cause us to worry, even as much to predict the worst of the future. Life's circumstances can be downright terrifying at times, and if we don't have anything more than our own strength to lean on, we may be overwhelmed when we are brought to the reality that we are in control of nothing in this world, but our own attitudes. We all know deep down inside that trials are on their way, but generally, I'd guess most of us would rather not think about the "what ifs."

Every other Thursday night, Crystal and I attend a newly married Bible study, and last night, I shared with the group about our recent medical concerns. During prayer time, one guy thanked the Lord that "I was going to die just like the rest of them in 50-60 years." I couldn't believe he said that! Crystal was laughing under her breath in disbelief, and I was just processing whether I should chuckle along or feel insulted that this guy was making a joke out of what had only days before had me fearing a brain tumor or a terminal disease. I later concluded that I was taking his joke way too seriously, and as I thought further about it, I took to heart the hard-to-swallow and possibly uncomfortably placed lesson that every good diagnosis is only a postponing of our ultimate mortal destiny. It's good to be reminded that every breath we have and every day we live is a gift from God. Every moment is to be cherished because if you're human like me, it's just a matter of time... before time is up.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow (You're Only A Day Away)
The Bible talks a lot about worry. One verse which has really stuck out to me throughout the last couple weeks is the passage in Matthew 6 which reads, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I'm not sure how many times I've had to relearn this truth. I know I am a serious worrier. My overly entertained fears throughout the last ten days have been a testament of an embarrassing and wavering faith. Through the course of these past uncertain days, I've often found myself talking to God and exclaiming, "Lord, where is my faith? I can't change the future, so why get worked up about it? I can't know the future, so why predict it? I know You will take care of me, so why fear what lies around the corner? I believe your strength is perfect in my weakness so why am I so afraid of being weak?" It's incredible how foolishly prideful we are sometimes. We can have the greatest peace known to man before us, yet we won't take hold of it. We instead cling to fear as if it's the only option we have.

The Virtue of Expectation
It's almost second nature for many of us to expect evil from the future when we alternately should be focusing our attention on expecting good from the Lord. This doesn't mean that we will all be rich or healthy or famous. God never said life was going to be easy, but He did promise that He would carry us through the storms of life if we would trust Him. One image which has come to mind this past week has been the picture of Peter stepping out onto a troubled Sea of Galilee to meet a ghost-like Jesus walking upon the water. Matt 14:30 reads, "Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'" So often, our attention is on the danger around us instead of on the Master of the Seas, and unfortunately, we sometimes only cry out for His help when we notice that we are sinking. These recent trials have really challenged my faith, and have left me asking myself if I am a lot like Peter, claiming to be a faithful servant, all the while shrinking in distrust when torrents of uncertainty crash through my otherwise comfortable life.

In closing, I'd like to share some excerpts of verses which have encouraged us this past week, and we pray that they will encourage you too.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Psalm 46
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. "Be still, and know that I am God."

Psalm 27
"The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? For in the day of trouble, he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

Psalm 31
"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth. Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD."

No More Than We Can Bear

Lord, You will give me no more than I can bear.
When life surprises us with tragedies, and when fears make our bodies shake,
You are there to comfort us.
When the burdens of life seem so heavy, so overwhelming that our own physical well being seems at risk, You are there to carry us through our sufferings.
When relationships in our lives seem impossible to mend, and when so much of our waking days are spent wishing that another would want what we want, You are the Healer.
When decisions loom over us, yet the concrete seems so far away, You are Certain and your Words are the Light unto our path.

Lord, today I realized how little faith I have. I am a man of faith until I am again awakened to the fact that I am in control of nothing on this earth, except my attitude and reaction to the trials which have and will inevitably come into my life.
Lord, You will give me no more than I can bear, so may I trust You. May I truly believe that You are the Shepherd who leads me by still waters. May I be confident that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate me from Your love. May I rest assured that I am Your child and that You have plans of good for my life, and not evil. May I know that this is not the end, but may I believe with all my soul that You have a future for me. May I cling to You with everything I have, everything I am. Jesus, I lay aside all of life's treasures, and all the fool's gold that I have unconsciously compiled. May my greatest desire be in knowing You, O Lamb of God, O Faithful Friend, O Compassionate Father.
Lord, You will give me no more than I can bear as I rest in the enfolding of Your embrace. You will give me no more than I can bear.

Singlehood in the Rear View: Chapter 4

I thought another edition of Singlehood in the Rear View might be fitting for Valentine’s Day, especially as this is Crystal and my first February 14th together as a married couple. This has been a special day so far, complete with cards, candy, breakfast in bed, and a special lunch complete with sparkling grape juice, among other goodies. I’m thinking the day may be filled with some other surprises too, but don’t tell my wife.

What a Contrast
Married life is most definitely different than life as a single person. For one, the majority of my time is no longer spent looking and wondering if this person or that person is The One. There certainly is a new freedom, but with it, there comes another level of responsibility. Now, every decision in my life involves and affects another individual. As a married man, I have to work daily to keep the relationship between my wife and I at the top of the priority list.

When You Care To Send The Very Best
The other day, I picked up a card at the local Hallmark, and let me just say finding a good Valentine’s Day card is a challenge. I was flabbergasted at the number of cards which were written as apologizes. For example, a couple cards sadly began with “I know I don’t tell you I love you very often, but...” Others had such unromantic lines as “You make me a better person” and “I love you because you love me.”

How To Keep Your Valentine
I am no expert here, and I’m certainly not the perfect mate by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought I’d highlight some common guidelines which I’ve observed through the years in the lives of happy couples. Some of these seem like no-brainers, but it’d probably be startling to find out how many Christian husbands and wives out there don’t even consider the following practices reasonable nor significant.

1. Tell your wife/husband you love her/him every day.

2. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. In other words, work things out before you go to bed and don’t hold grudges.

3. Touch often. There’s really no good reason why you can’t keep touching after you get married.

4. Be open and honest with each other. Stay accountable with your mate.

5. Don’t belittle your spouse, whether in public or private. If there is a problem, focus on the problem, not the person. Phrases such “you always...” or “you never...” are a good way to knock the foundation out from under your relationship. Sarcasm may be funny to you, but your loose words may be more damaging than you think.

6. Pray together. It’s sort of a cliché, but the couple that prays together does have a better chance of staying together. It’s tough to pray together if you’re not getting along.

7. Study your spouse and learn how to put her/his interests first.

8. Keep dating (your spouse) after you say “I Do.” Babysitters may be expensive, but your marriage may greatly benefit from a long overdue weekend away. I recently heard of an author who showed his priorities at the end of the work day by always kissing his wife first before he kissed his little daughter. Kids need to see that mom and dad love each other, even if that means that mommy and daddy have some healthy alone time.

Cheers To Many More Years
I recently read some web reviews of the Atlanta church produced movie, Fireproof. As cheesy as the movie was at times, I think it had some excellent lessons. However, the secular articles I read poked fun at the film, claiming that it was over simplistic in its moral. If you haven’t seen the movie, I’ll give you a quick synopsis. Basically, Kirk Cameron is a firefighter whose rocky marriage is resurrected after he, “buys his wife roses, does the dishes, and finds God.” (as the article put it). In the movie, Kirk’s dad gives him a 40 day marriage to-do journal, and Kirk’s broken relationship with his wife does a 180 after 40 days of rethinking both his priorities and his connection with God.
I certainly don’t believe for a second that troubled marriages can be fixed in 10 easy steps, but I do believe in the power of Christ to change lives, and I would argue that this is the primary focus of the movie. I believe it’s important to always put the Lord first in our lives, and from that will outpour the fruits of the Spirit, which include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control... all of which will help you and I to be better spouses.

And now off to that surprise I was talking about.

To read chapter 5 of Singlehood in the Rear View, click here.

The Question of Forgiveness

Have you ever had times when the same topic has been highlighted over numerous days and in various situations, so much so you’re convinced God is trying to tell you something? For me, that topic has recently been forgiveness. One morning in my devotions I read the following passage.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Matthew 18:15-17.

Wow. How many of us actually follow this model of confrontation when we are offended by a brother or sister? If another Christian hurt you, would you actually be willing to take the issue all the way “to the church” and would you feel right treating an unconfessing brother or sister as a pagan or a tax collector (tax collectors were not looked upon highly in Jesus’ day)? What confuses me are the following verses in this passage which seem to contradict the above method of restitution.

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18:21-22.

How can we forgive our brother seventy times seven times (indefinitely, as I’ve heard this interpreted) if we are to ultimately treat an unrepentant brother as a pagan or tax collector? If grace is be indefinite and forgiveness limitless, how can there be a breaking point when the offending party is no longer fit for association?

Is it Christlike to forgive another, yet choose to avoid that person for spiritual reasons (if they “will not listen”)? Maybe. That’s at least what this passage seems to imply...specifically when it comes to relationships between believers (as the verses consistently uses the word “brother.”) We all hope no relationship will come to this...and just to clarify, there are no people in my life who I am thinking about not associating with because “they will not listen.” I am simply asking these questions for the purpose of better understanding a “straight forward” passage which I’ve read for years, a passage which has for me recently sprouted branches of strange complexity.

Any Bible scholars out there have any thoughts on this topic?