I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time, but with all the wedding planning and more recently, honeymooning, it’s been a challenge to find the time to blog as much as I used to. However, I’m excited to finally share with you the story of how Crystal and I found each other. It is quite an amazing tale, and I can only attribute our meeting to the Lord.
At the ripe age of 32, I had pretty much resolved I was preordained to be single for the rest of my life. In my mind, there was simply no way that I was going to meet a lady that I was attracted to, a lady I clicked with, and a lady who was likewise just as enthusiastic about me as I was for her. It had become too much of a burden to hope any longer.
I dated some during college (at Word of Life and Liberty University), but nothing ever worked out. Come May of 1998, I was discouraged. I had earned a communications degree, but like many Christian college seniors, my expectations of finding a mate in the university single’s pool had been drowned.
After college, I entered the strange world of the church single’s group. What better place to find a mate than at church? Sadly, the first church I attended out of college hardly had a singles’ group, and the few girls I met in this group didn’t fall within the parameters of what I thought God would have me look for. Then, in 2001, I began dating a girl rather seriously for four months, but our differences led us to break it off. It was an especially sad time in my life, a period which inspired many emotions and several songs, including “Hurricane” and “After Everything.”
Looking back, I can see how God was orchestrating those years of trials and lonely nights for good. It’s easy to say now, but those valleys were tough, and even now, I feel for my single friends who haven’t yet found that special someone. This world can be a lonely place, and I think everyone needs a companion, a tangible friend of flesh and bone who can connect at the deepest heart level. It is only by providence that I found the love of my life. I often pray for my single friends that God will do the same for them. The story of Crystal and I is a testament that miracles do happen. If you’re single, be faithful in prayer and hang in there. Crazy stuff happens.
Around 2001, my parents told me about an older friend of theirs in his 60’s who had met his second wife through a Christian web site, eharmony.com. Mom and dad kindly suggested I give the service a whirl. Honestly, I was sceptical at first, but having given up on the long shots of the church single’s group scene, I decided that I didn’t have much to lose. It was slow going at first as I received a good number of boring, and at times downright frightening profiles. To add to the equation, many of the profiles didn’t have pictures. To make a long story short, I tried eHarmony on and off for almost six years. In fact, I even traveled all the way to Florida and to Mississippi to meet a couple girls. In both cases, the chemistry was not there... on a lot of levels. I will leave it at that. I spent a bunch of money over that time, and often, I felt like I was throwing dollar bills to the wind. After a number of disappointments and seasons of searching, I decided to give online dating a rest. I finally accepted the reality that God might not want me to get married, and I think I was ok with that.
Then, in the winter of 2007, for some reason, I was inspired to give Neil Waren Clark’s baby another go. I was surprised to discover that there were a number of interesting matches, many more than I had seen in past endeavors. Apparently, the pool had grown. Some mornings, I’d open up my email to discover two to three new people who wanted to correspond. Unfortunately, these were generally girls which didn’t interest me. Often, I saved profiles of people I
might be interested in. This list grew to be rather large. However, I rarely actually contacted these matches. In addition to this list was the collection of potentials I was pretty sure I wanted to meet, but in many cases, these were the women who either closed me or ignored my requests to communicate. It always baffled me how this worked almost as a pattern. If a girl was good looking, she was either in the bar scene, or she ignored me. I was surprised to find what seemed to be a lot of ladies getting out of the bar scene and searching for a nice “religious guy” with no preference of his doctrine. Behind the appearance, I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with a lady who loved Jesus Christ, not just “God” or “good morals.” The pool at eHarmony had grown, but now I felt like I just had too many choices of nothing I wanted.
Come January 2007, I was alerted that I had been matched with a girl named Crystal from Ashland, OH (and she was also notified that she had been matched with me). I initiated the online conversation by selecting and sending her 5 multiple choice questions (the first stage of communication on eHarmony). She responded by sending me 5 multiple choice questions and liking her answers, I replied. The following stages of communication included, (2) 5 open ended questions which you write or select from a list, (3) exchange of your “must haves and can’t stands” and finally, (4) open communication (where you can freely email one another through eharmony’s secure email system). Within a week or two, Crystal and I were exchanging personal email addresses, and eventually, we began speaking on the phone a couple times a week. However, the more I talked to Crystal, the more I realized that our backgrounds and convictions were quite different, and after several weeks of correspondence, I began to wonder if I honestly wanted to communicate any further. This is where the story gets a bit strange.
One morning as I was sipping a cappuccino at the Mean Bean in Powell, I checked my email only to discover a message which read “Crystal from Ashland would like to begin communicating with you.” Needless to say, I was confused. Wasn’t I already corresponding with Crystal from Ashland? Turns out there was
another Crystal in Ashland, OH on eHarmony, and even more interesting, like me, she attended a Grace Brethren Church, and like me, she grew up as a missionary kid!! Wacky and ironic stuff!! It’s also crazy as I was Crystal’s first match on eHarmony (and she had to literally be match # 2000 or so for me!) and wilder still, she had casually signed up on a whim after receiving a junk email from Neil Warren Clark! We still joke that “God can even work through spam!”
To make a long story short, I tapered off my communication with the first Crystal, and spend more and more time talking to the second Crystal through email. (The second Crystal was such a contrast from the first Crystal, and I think it is this drastic contrast which God used to initially draw me to her.) About two weeks into our correspondence, Crystal mentioned that her family was coming to Columbus to celebrate her sister’s birthday, and they were actually eating at a restaurant literally across from the tv station where I work! “Hmmm,” I thought to myself, “it might be a bit quick, but maybe we should meet up in person so I can see if this girl and I have any chemistry.” So, putting thought to action, I email Crystal and asked her if she wanted to get together while she was in Columbus. (We hadn’t even talked on the phone yet!) She enthusiastically agreed, and actually invited me to dinner with her sister and her parents! Talk about a high pressure first date!!
It was a Wednesday evening slightly before 7pm, and I was watching out our office window for a cute girl and her family to walk into the entrance of the Cheesecake Factory. I was slightly nervous, but surprisingly calm given the circumstances. After a few minutes of spying (and not seeing any family of these specifications), I decided to make my way down to the restaurant where Crystal and I (and her family) would have our first rendezvous.
As I walked in the doors of the Cheesecake Factory, I noticed a pretty young lady waiting on a bench seat. Looking at me, she rose and said, “Hi, I’m Crystal!” and she shook my hand (she now tells me she had no idea what to do except to shake my hand). “Hi!” I exclaimed, “and of course, I’m Marc.” She smiled (and what beautiful smile it was) and led me back to a booth seat where her parents, her sister, and a friend of her sister were waiting. As I sat down, I already felt quite comfortable around your family. They were really easy to talk to, and the continued gorgeous gaze and smile of Crystal across the table put me at further ease. The server brought us some rolls and butter and ice water, and only moments into our conversation, I reached for a piece of bread and inavertently spilled a glass of water all over Crystal and her flowered dress! “Now that’s the way to make a first impression!” I exclaimed with a non chalant chuckle. Crystal and her family graciously excused the blunder, and we continued our small talk about siblings, hobbies, and employment. Ever after the water incident, I felt unusually relaxed.
I remember people telling me over the years, “When you meet the right one, you will know.” I swore I had “known” on numerous occasions, but this time, something was different. Even my initial interactions with Crystal lacked the awkwardness and doubts I felt with so many prior dates. This first meeting was just the beginning of what would prove to be an unusual and divinely designed encounter.
We concluded the evening with a tour of the tv station where I work, and after this, Crystal and her family returned home to Ashland, with each of us feeling a sense of “Wow, what just happened?”
Crystal and I continued dating throughout the spring and summer of 2008, mostly alternating travel destinations on the weekend (Columbus or Ashland). I also would often make the hour and 15 minute drive to Ashland on either a Tuesday or Wednesday night, returning to work by 10am the next morning. It worked out great as she could stay at my parents in Columbus (only 15 minutes away from my apartment) and I could stay at her parents in Ashland (only 10 minutes from her house). Ah yes, her house. This brings me to yet another sign of God’s foresight and planning.
Like myself, Crystal (at the age of 28) had concluded that she would probably be single for the rest of her life. She decided to settle down in Ashland, and along with this, she purchased a nice two-story, three bedroom home (which had been foreclosed on), ironically about a month before she received my profile via. eHarmony. (It’s funny as her dad had told her that she would probably be married within a year of buying the home. He may have the gift of prophesy!) The purchase of the home (like the sale, as you will soon hear) was rather unusual. First, Crystal actually sold her own home to herself and was paid commission (she was a real estate agent at the time). Next, she was able to sell the home after living in it for four months, and she never even had to put it up on the market, and she again made more money on it! Speaking of junk mail, the previous owners (who had foreclosed on the home) contacted Crystal via email and asked if she would be interested in selling the house back to them. How often does that happen?!! If Crystal wouldn’t have checked her bulk folder, she would have again missed a golden opportunity (as I mentioned previously, she had signed up for eHarmony because of a junk mail). Turns out, the original owners of the home were unable to get a loan, so would you believe it, two other people contacted Crystal directly about the house (again, it was never on the market), and the third person bit and bought the home one day after Crystal and I were engaged (May 21st). Amazing how God works!!
This blog is already turning into a novel, but in closing, I will share one last story. I don’t necessarily consider the following a “fleece,” but I think it does illustrate God’s attention to detail, and may contain some sprinklings of His humor. As a birthday gift, my artist dad decided to design a beautiful calligraphy of Crystal’s favorite verse Jeremiah 29:11,
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper, not to harm, plans to give you a future and a hope.” At the time, Crystal was still living in her new house, and her bedroom was decorated with blueish purple paint and a queen sized bed with a beautiful dark wood bed frame and intricately carved bed posts. I remember my dad asking me, “What colors does Crystal like?” I told him that her favorite shade was purple, as was the color of her bed room walls. He then asked, “Pray that God will give me wisdom as I am choosing colors” and I did. Come the end of March, my parents came up to Ashland to surprise Crystal on her birthday. They were already at one of her favorite restaurants and appeared just as we stepped up to put our name in for a table. Crystal was wide eyed with surprise. After dinner, we went back to Crystal’s house for ice cream cake, and soon there after, my dad revealed his carefully wrapped birthday present. Crystal opened the gift, and was thrilled with his calligraphy, especially as it included both her favorite verse and her favorite colors. Crystal immediately took the framed artwork to her room to see how it looked. I, my parents, Crystal’s parents, and Crystal’s sister all followed. As she held the calligraphy up to the wall, we were all amazed. The purple of the artwork matched the purple of the wall precisely!! And even more crazy, the frame of the calligraphy had the same wood and carved design as Crystal’s bed head board and bed posts!!
None of us really knew what to say, except for Crystal’s mom who quickly uttered to me as we left the room, “Marc, we believe you are Crystal’s future and hope.” If that isn’t a subtle hint (of in-law blessing), I don’t know what is.
In conclusion, I will just say the Lord has been so evident in how He brought Crystal and I together, and how He has opened doors along the way. I hope you have enjoyed hearing a few of the highlights.
At times, I wonder how much pain and grief we'd save ourselves if we didn't worry. This past week, Crystal and I were hit with a substantial health scare. I'll spare you the details, but I'll just say that last Friday, I had an MRI of the brain which did not come back normal. I then had a follow-up MRI this past Wednesday which confirmed that what they had seen was "inactive" and non-threatening (for now) and was probably caused by migraine headaches, which I have rather frequently. We will meet the Neurologist again in a couple weeks to go over the results in more detail, but for now, we are told that everything is ok.
